Fandom Town Emergency Clinic

It was the last day of June and the bakery had an excess of rainbow baked goods to sell and so of course Stark had stopped off for those and iced coffees this morning.

The clinic also had rather a lot of rainbow items to give away, leftovers from the festival and parade.

Stabby was sporting a pair of crab-sized rainbow sunglasses and had a rainbow shot glass full of something in his tank with him and looking very suspicious.

Stark was seated at the desk with a rainbow donut and a frozen coffee concoction topped with whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles.

The clinic was open, the crab was possibly doing crime while being queer, and the alien was in.

Stabby was playing solitaire next to his tank today. He had crab-sized cards that had ocean designs on them and were actually quite pretty.

Stark stopped to admire them, declined an offer to play a game of poker, and settled in at the desk with his own coffee and handed over the ones for the nurses as well.

The clinic was open, the crab was hoping to fleece someone at cards, and the alien was in.

The clinic was a bit calmer this week than last week. Stabby was lounging in his tank looking extremely smug after his trip to visit his lobsters. None of the nurses were locked away in any closets or exam rooms together.

Stark had a very normal coffee order that he'd brought in with him and everything was back to business as usual. Well, 'business' was a strong word for the clinic. It was a quiet place.

"Anything of note today?" Stark asked as he set down the coffee and bagels he'd brought with him. "Or just...another day?"

"Just another day. Deep clean got done yesterday. Might get some people in for a pulled muscle or two? We'll see."

The clinic was open, the crab had had a very good week, and the alien was in.

Stabby had kept his little pillowfort. Perhaps due to the fact that he seemed to have a new knife with which to defend his cozy fortress.

"I'm not sure waving the knife around is wise amongst all those pillows," Stark told him before he handed over the day's coffees and settled in at the desk.

So far the pillows remained unsliced. But for how long?

Stabby was moping today.

"He misses the lobsters and Navaan," one nurse said sagely. "But we bought some Crab Union merch to cheer him up. Here, change your shirt."

Stark took the shirt tossed to him and quickly pulled off his own shirt and replaced it with the Crab Union one.

"Thanks for the coffees."

Stark nodded, smiled, and settled in at the desk.

The clinic was open, the crab was mopey, and the alien was in (though his new shirt was a little too tight).

Stabby was wearing a tiny black cap with tiny mouse ears on it when Stark arrived at the clinic after Paintball.

"One of his cousins went to Florida," a nurse explained. "And sent him some ears. And a lot of glitter. So much glitter."

There was, in fact, a fine layer of glitter coating the desk.

Stark just nodded and set down the coffees he'd brought.

The clinic was open, the crab was a mouse, and the alien was in.

Paintball had not gone very well this morning. He and Summer had both been taken out far too early and Anakin had beaten both of them. Such an injustice. At least photography had been pleasant.

The usual supply of coffees in hand, he'd come into the office and found Stabby on the phone and the nurses watching with interest.

"He's trying to deal with an airline," a nurse said. "We're taking bets on how long he's stuck on hold."

Stark looked at everyone involved and shook his head.

The clinic was open, the crab was on hold and might be all day, and the alien was in.

"Stabby's already on the beach today," one of the nurses informed Stark when he arrived with coffees as always. "With the lobsters, enjoying his day off."

"He doesn't have a real job," Stark said. "Why does he need days off?"

"You work 2 days a week," the nurse said. "Hush. He's a very hardworking crab. You going to the thing at the firehouse?"

Stark nodded. "Once I'm done here, I thought, unless you need me to stay later?"

"You can go early if you promise to come back if needed. And bring a firefighter or two with you!"

The clinic was open, the crab was on the beach, and the alien was thinking of leaving early.

After his classes were over for the day Stark headed for the clinic as usual. It was later than he normally arrived but his schedule had changed for the next while.

He still brought coffees with him, of course, and grabbed an ice pack for the welt that had been growing since Paintball.

"Didn't do well today?" a nurse asked. "Better luck next week then."

Stark shrugged.

Stabby, seemingly inspired by the idea of paint, was working on a tiny painting in his tank.

The clinic was open, the crab was artistic, and the alien was bruised.

Stark had reluctantly left Summer, who was still a squirrel this morning, at home in her own apartment. But it had been over a week at this point and she still wasn't herself and she hadn't wanted to leave and so Stark was alone at the clinic.

He'd still stopped off for coffees on his way in, as usual, and delivered them to the nurses.

Stabby seemed a little disappointed that he had no fencing partner this morning. He was also, according to one of the nurses, feeling quite put out that nobody had acknowledged International Crab Day and currently looking over jokes that had won a competition for the day. "He might be considering going into stand-up comedy," the nurse explained.

Stark, who was rather distracted, just nodded absently as he settled in at the dark.

The clinic was open, the crab was maybe funny, and the alien was in.

Stark was feeling a bit off this morning when he arrived at the clinic. He handed over the coffees as usual but tried his best not to make eye contact.

Of course that just meant he ended up looking at comically large basket full of a variety of condoms on the desk for anyone to take should they need some.

"It's that time of year!" A nurse said cheerfully, giving him a wink. Stark nodded stiffly.

Stabby, meanwhile, appeared to be looking up lobster beds on SeaBay.

It was going to be a long shift.

The clinic was open and very well-stocked, the crab was being himself, and the alien was uncomfortable.

It had been an eventful few days back on Moya but a good few days. There had been no declarations of war, no coups, no kidnappings...

There had just been time on Moya and the Hynerian Royal Planet and introducing the most important person in his life to the other most important people in his life. There had also been a lot of talking

Now they were back on the island and Stark was back at the clinic fielding questions about his trip while wondering what Stabby was doing with a small golden crab statue.

"Oh, he's just practicing his acceptance speech for the awards ceremony. In case he wins."

"What awards?" Stark asked even as he thought better of it.

"The Crabbies. Obviously."

Stark just nodded and then turned his attention to his phone. He had some things to take care of today. Texts to send and deliveries to arrange.

The clinic was open, the crab was an awards hopeful, and the alien was in.

There was a toy crab skittering around the lobby of the clinic when Stark arrived.

There was also an actual crab crawling around on the floor after it.

"He bought it in a President's Day sale," one of the nurses explained. "I guess he needed some enrichment in his enclosure?"

Stark just nodded and handed over the usual coffees before taking a seat. At least Stabby wasn't offering hugs or pinches today?

The clinic was open, the crab was on the loose, and the alien was in.

Stark had had a good birthday weekend. There had been a party with friends and he'd spent yesterday with Summer and ended the day with a cooking class.

The cooking class had him giving Stabby an apologetic look as he walked in to the clinic. He also dropped off a donut in the tank before handing over the coffees he'd brought to the nurses. He wasn't going to mention the crab cakes but it still felt a little odd to be facing Stabby mere hours after consuming his brethren.

"Good birthday?" one nurse asked as they took their coffee.

"It was," Stark said easily, smiling. "Very good. Thank you."


The clinic was open, the crab had a donut he was eyeing a little suspiciously, and the alien was in.

Monday mornings for Stark meant clinic shifts and coffee deliveries. The baristas at the Perk had encouraged him to try out some of the holiday flavors so he carried in more coffees than usual with a variety of options. Peppermint (of course), spiced cookie, cookie butter cold brew, gingerbread, chestnut praline, caramel brulee, brown butter caramel, and even gingerbread chai. The drink tray was overloaded and he set it down at the front desk with relief once he'd gotten inside the clinic.

"Overdid it a little?" a nurse asked before reaching for one of the cups.

"I got some of everything," Stark explained. Maybe he'd been inspired by Saturday's Friendsgiving? "It seemed like a good idea. It always gets consumed."

He glanced over at Stabby's tank where the crab seemed to be playing video games.

"Oh, you like his new Playstacean?" another nurse asked. "He got it in a Black Friday sale. We've been taking turns playing with him but he's a sore loser. He pinches."

Stark nearly said that pinching was better than stabbing but thought better of it and simply nodded.

The clinic was open, the crab was playing video games, and the alien was in.

The weekend hadn't gone as planned for Stark. Once they'd left Tiny Planet behind things had improved but it still hadn't been quite the cozy and isolated time that it was meant to be.

That was fine. They could always try again somewhere else. Stark hoped.

But this morning he was back in Fandom and at the clinic, bearing the usual coffees for the nurses (not in pumpkins) and a very tiny pumpkin (not containing coffee) for Stabby to decorate with if he chose.

"Oh good," a nurse said. "He's been looking for Halloween costumes all morning but searching 'crab costumes' isn't very useful for him. He might need to get something custom made."

Stark was going to spend some time considering what sort of costumes a crab might wear. He was also wondering if said crab was going to be trying to make an appearance at any parties this year.

The clinic was open, the crab was still in spooky season mode, and the alien was in.

Perhaps Stabby had been in contact with the store, or with Apu, or maybe he just Googled the same things that Summer had. Whatever the reasoning, Stabby was in a white coat with a tiny stethoscope today.

"He's being the boss today," a nurse explained.

Stark didn't think that was much of an explanation but he nodded all the same as he handed over the usual coffees to the nurses.

"He said you should do some inventory," another nurse added. "Check the bandages."

Stark did not think Stabby had said any such thing but he was fine with going to a cabinet and sorting through boxes to see if anything was low.

The clinic was open, the crab was being the doctor, and the alien was in.

"Stabby's in isolation," one of the nurses said when Stark opened the door. He hadn't even made it over the threshold yet.

"What? Why?" Stark gave the nurse, and then Stabby's tank, odd looks.

"He needs to stay away from people. For reasons," the nurse said darkly. "So don't open that tank no matter what you might hear from inside. Got it?"

Stark nodded slowly and handed over the usual coffees before sitting down at the desk.

There was a curtain pulled tightly around the tank but the sounds of Stabby pacing and occasionally tapping on the glass could be heard.

The clinic was open, the crab was really in, and the alien was confused.

Stark had been hesitant to go out this morning but he had decided being around people was much better than staying alone somewhere and so he'd gone to his class at the forge this morning and then stopped off for coffee as usual before heading in for his clinic shift.

"You got a delivery," one of the nurses told him, holding out a fat manila envelope. "From that raccoon in the suit? Keith? Carried it in his little briefcase."

Stark set the tray of coffees down and took the envelope warily. "Why are raccoons giving me anything?"

"Hell if I know." The nurse shrugged and took a long sip of coffee. "Got your name on it, not mine."

Stark gave a little sigh and opened the envelope. Inside was a thick stack of papers. "Vaccination records? For...rabies? For every raccoon on the island. How...? Why? Oh." There was folded sheet of paper as well. "He says that he organized a vaccine clinic. For all of them. So there wouldn't be issues later."

Stark was going to have to think about that for a bit. Maybe that raccoon was decent enough at least.

Stabby tapped on the glass of his tank then and motioned to the screen of his little crabby laptop which was showing an image.

"Oh," another nurse piped up, "right, Stabby's working on graphics for our vaccine clinic. We thought all of you that were in there these past couple weeks ought to have tetanus boosters. At least."

The clinic was open, the alien was in, the crab wanted to stab people with needles and made some of the nurses did too.

There was a lovely stained glass crab hanging in a window at the clinic today. Where Stabby had a good view of it and the way it caught the light, of course.

"That's pretty," Stark remarked, nodding to the new addition before he put down the usual coffees and a box of assorted breakfast pastries.

"You're late," a nurse said mildly.

"I brought food," Stark countered. "And I was at the forge since I missed class last week while I was a koala but I'm me again now and ready to work if needed."

The nurse nodded, mollified, and took a bear claw from the box.

The clinic was open, the crab had pretty glass in the window, and the alien was in.

These weekends were a gift of time. These weekends also hurt.

Stark had been subdued this morning during blacksmithing class. He'd been subdued at the coffee shop. He remained subdued when he arrived at the clinic.

"Stabby didn't have any visitors over the weekend," a nurse told him, picking up a coffee. "We're all hoping that's good news for his missing cousins."

"I hope you find them, Stabby," Stark said quietly as he picked up his own coffee.

The clinic was open, the crab was hopeful, and the alien was in and looking for small tasks to keep himself occupied.

There were no classes this week and Stark made his way in to the clinic earlier than he had been recently.
He had the usual coffees with him, as well as some rainbow pastries from JGoB.

The nurses were hanging up a new crab print outside Stabby's tank and there was a stack of matching holographic stickers on the desk.

"I like those," Stark said to the nurses, grinning as he picked one up.

"Thought you might. So where were you last week? No raccoons involved?"

"It was Summer's birthday. I took her to the spa for it."

There were several knowing glances exchanged among the nursing staff. Stabby in his crabitat even managed to get in on it before retreating to a corner of his tank to resume admiring the rainbow knife there that matched the print disturbingly well.

The clinic was open, it was still pride month, and the alien was in.

Stark came in after a morning working on his wood in the forge.

He dropped off the usual coffees for the nurses and picked up his own cup and then looked over at Stabby's tank.

"He's been researching swords," a nurse said after picking up a coffee.

Stabby pointed a claw at his computer screen which currently featured a sword with a crab hilt.

"Mine isn't going to look anything like that," Stark warned. "But I did work with some very nice wood this morning."

The clinic was open, the crab might be upgrading from a knife to a sword, and the alien was in.

Stabby was watching a short film on his laptop when Stark arrived at the clinic.

"What are you watching," Stark asked. He wasn't expecting an answer from the crab, of course, but the nurses always seemed able to speak for him.

"It's Crazy Crabs from Outer Space," the nurse said. "We've been watching it on a loop. He's still on his space kick."

Stark nodded and turned his attention to the screen for a moment before passing out the coffees he'd brought with him.

"I didn't know there were movies about space crabs."

"You don't watch many movies."

"That's fair."

The clinic was open, the crab might be warning of an interstellar crab invasion in his own way, and the alien was in.

"Stabby's done being a where-crab," one of the nurses announced.

"I can see that, Stark said. "He's right there! And looking... different?"

"He went off to molt in private," the nurse explained. "Doesn't he look lovely?"

"Very nice," Stark said, nodding to Stabby who was looking quite fresh. "Here, I brought coffees. Like usual."

The clinic was open, the crab was a there crab instead of a where crab, and the alien was in.