Fandom Town Emergency Clinic

Hawkeye was nowhere to be seen. That was because Hawkeye was passed out in one of the exam rooms trying to sleep off the first flu bug of the season. Sometimes doctors had all the luck.

[OCD has the flu]

Hawkeye had a table set up near the front desk with a romantic lunch for two. There were candles as the centerpiece, cutlery and nice dishes on the table with a linen tablecloth underneath and the aroma of something delicious on both plates.

Soft music played throughout the clinic and Hawkeye was wearing his best tuxedo and even shined his shoes. Now all he needed was a dancing and dining partner.

Too bad none of the nurses were buying into it.


[OOC: OCD went to learn how to train its dragon.]

"Let me out of here!"

That was what Hawkeye was saying. All that could be heard from the front desk was something along the lines of "Fetch me a beer." The nurse on duty at the front desk was ignoring the noise anyway while she read her newspaper. After Hawkeye had spent his first hour on duty trying to get the nurses to play Twister, Pictionary and Marbles (in that order), something had to be done to keep the peace in the clinic.

If any emergencies came up, they would of course let him out, but for now they were content to let him work off all of his pent up energy bouncing off the walls in one of the back rooms.

[OOC: OCD is off playing Fable III]

Hawkeye felt refreshed after the weekend. He was at the front desk looking like he was working diligently. In fact, he was playing Social Slots at winster.com and making friends all the while.

At least, until someone left the slots room while holding a valuable piece for him.

Then there was cursing and he was on the defensive.

The olives needed replacing again. Related to such a fact, Hawkeye was sleeping in one of the exam rooms. The nurses knew to come and get him if there was a problem, but otherwise he planned on sleeping the day away. He had years of sleep still to catch up on from his days in Korea and he wasn't going to waste the opportunity to do so.

[OOC: OCD free today.]

Hawkeye was wearing his tuxedo again. Only this time, he was in no mood for a waltz and in no condition for one either. That was due to also wearing flippers, a diving mask and a snorkel.

One of the nurses gave him a look. He removed the snorkel long enough to explain. "It's monsoon season." Hawkeye took a seat at the front desk with his flippered feet propped up on a spare chair.

Hawkeye was in Exam Two sleeping off a late summer cold, but the nurses knew to come and wake him if anyone needed medical attention. In the meantime, sleeping. And snoring.

Hawkeye put the call out to his students that anyone wanting to learn what they were going to cover in Friday's class (bone fractures and breaks) should come down, along with anyone who wanted a second (or first) try at CPR. Exam Three was set up with all of the equipment they would need for that. Hawkeye wasn't at the front desk, but there was a nurse on standby and a bell on the desk for anyone to ring if they needed the doctor. Or they could just yell. Worked for his commanding officers.

Hawkeye was bored. This wasn't really a surprise since Hawkeye was often bored, drunk or in bed. Sometimes all at the same time, but only bored in this particular case. Unfortunately for the nurses, he was very vocal about this fact. "I should be grateful that no one's in need of medical attention, but if this doesn't end soon, I'm taking a medical kit and going knocking on doors!"

The clinic was open and the doctor was in, in case anyone was wondering.

Hawkeye was at the front desk with the computer on and the browser pointed to Wikipedia's article on July 20. He had a pen and notepad on hand, writing down anything important that happened on this day in his future (everything from 1960 onwards) so he could put it on his calendar at home.

He was ignoring the parts about there being another war in south-east Asia and focusing on the parts that wouldn't have him arrested for anything to do with national security and trying to break down the President's door.

"Ooh Moon landing." He wrote that down. "Too bad TiVo won't be invented for another forty years."

Hawkeye really could have done without the dance party that some of the medical supplies were holding, but Fandom did what Fandom always did, so he sat back, made a phone call in the morning and let them do their thing until lunch time.

After he returned with food (and had a break from the music that was on repeat), that was enough. "Can't you switch to a Jitterbug? What about a Waltz? I'll take line dancing at this stage!"

They started a conga line instead.

"Where do we keep the lollipops?"

He asked four times, each increasingly louder, until he got an answer. Persuading nurses to tell him what he wanted to hear instead of asking why he wanted to know used to be a lot easier.

"Because I'm hungry. Can't a man get hungry in the 21st century?"

Apparently lollipops were not considered a legitimate replacement for actual lunch.

"If I eat enough of them," Hawkeye reasoned, "I'll be on such a sugar high I won't even notice until it's too late and I crash into what we professionals call a 'sugar coma' where I won't even care that I didn't get a pastrami on rye with mustard by 2:30."

By 2:30, he had a sandwich. Pastrami on rye with mustard arrived at 2:25 along with a pickle and a cup of coffee.

Maybe his powers of persuasion weren't completely lost after all.

Hawkeye didn't know who had taken his sexual health sign, but he'd made another one and put it out front.

Getting the Clap won't get you applause.
Protect against STDs from every time and place!

Meanwhile, the doctor was in, fighting off a headache at the front desk.

Inventory was dull and there was a distinct lack of patients, other than a splinter removal and the guy who had a bruised forehead from stepping on multiple rakes.

Therefore, there was a serious card game going on at the front desk between Hawkeye and several nurses. Hawkeye surveyed his cards, plotting his next move. He did not, in fact, have any sixes.

"Go fish."