fandom_clinic | Fandom Clinic, Monday 8/26

Entry tags:

navaan,
stark

Fandom Clinic, Monday 8/26

No classes this week meant Stark was at the clinic earlier than he had been of late. He still had all the coffees in hand for the nurses though, including multiple fall flavored ones.

Stabby, it seemed, was getting into the fall theme as well with some seasonal decorations going up inside and outside his tank. There was still glitter from last week as well. That was just how glitter worked. It lingered and sometimes replicated on its own.

The clinic was open, the crab was sparkly in a pumpkin spice sort of way, and the alien was in.

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There's probably extra pumpkin spice if you need it!

What was this? A patient? Someone in desperate need of medical advice? A traveling pharmaceutical salesman?

None of the above (though the third guess was pretty close if we stretched the definition of 'pharmaceuticals'). It was Navaan, come to say goodbye.

Well, mostly to Stabby, but she guessed the rest of you all, too, since you were here.

The nurses all exchanged a look and suddenly managed to be Very Busy. How convenient for them!

"Do you need help?" Stark asked, looking up in mild confusion. "You're not hurt are you?"

"What?" Navaan looked at him, vaguely insulted. "Of course not. I'm a doctor."

Doctors could only be hurt in very special circumstances. Like sunlight.

"I'm here to say goodbye to Stabby." Beat. "And the rest of you," she added, very sincerely and not at all tacked on at the last minute.

"Doctors can get hurt," Stark pointed out. "Or you could need other help. You're...leaving?"

Running away, perhaps?

Who needed to run? She was a free doctor.

"Only if they're bad at stuff," Navaan snorted, heading over to Stabby's tank. "I'm going home. This place is boring again and I miss my little guys and the rest of my friends."

Stabby looked betrayed, somehow, and was going to crawl his way out of the tank shortly.

"Your little guys?"

Stabby could be a little guy! He was little! And a guy!

"My monks," Navaan explained. "The ones I killed the god of fun to protect, because they were getting sacrificed to it."

They were just little guys!

"Awww, c'mon, Stabby, don't be like that!"

"Sacrificed to a god of fun," Stark repeated. That was not fun at all!

Stabby was at the top of the tank now, giving Navaan a very sad crab look.

"I know, buddy," Navaan said. "I'll miss you, too. But you know an exciting doctor-adventurer-detective-teacher-romance novelist can't stay in one place forever."

That might lead to character growth and that was illegal.

"Gotta roam. Explore. Doctor! Detect! Adventure!"

Stabby was unconvinced, Navaan!

"He wants to know if you'll write to him," one of the nurses said, without looking up from what they were doing.
Did the nurses also really want written versions of Navaan's exploits? Maybe they did!

Stark wasn't as invested. "You're going back to where you were, where little guys get sacrificed to gods of fun then?"

"Of course I'll write!" Probably. When she remembered. "How else are you gonna know all about the cool adventures and shit I'm having?"

Stabby needed to know all about the exciting world of Oglaf!

"Well, they don't get sacrificed to the god of fun anymore, I killed it," Navaan pointed out. Witheringly. "But that's a reason I gotta go back! What if something else is kidnapping and eating my monks?"

"There are always more gods," Stark said. Ominously? Maybe.

"I hope your monks will be safe. And you'll enjoy their companionship again."

He regretted those words as soon as they'd left his mouth because he didn't really want to imply anything.

"Oh yeah. I'm their doctor. A full round of checkups for everybody!"

Yes, she meant that exactly as one would assume.

Could a crab snicker? Stabby would have if he could have. As it was he was raising a claw as if for a high five.

Stark just nodded. "Good luck to you, then. I hope everything goes well."

Was Navaan bumping his claw? Awww hell yeah. You didn't leave a bro hanging.

"Why wouldn't it?" Navaan asked. "I'm going home, of course it's gonna go well." Beat. "Well, I guess Arthur could be a jerk and Beaker will try to blow him up, but I'm not HR so I don't handle interpersonal conflicts."

"...you're taking Beaker?"

Navaan, your poor little guys!

"Aren't you worried about things exploding? Or people exploding?"

"People explode all the time," Navaan said dismissively. "Did you know that your balls can explode if you don't come often enough? I did a medical experiment on ol' Warty Hands to prove it."

So many mental images for you to enjoy there, Stark. "But yeah. Beaker, Arthur, and John all wanna come along."

"I don't think that's true," Stark said. "Not the experiment. I'm sure you've done plenty of experiments."

More than he wanted to contemplate!

"Good luck," he said again. "With your new companions. And not exploding."

"Shows what kind of doctor you are," Navaan sniffed. "All right, Stabby, I gotta go. Have some good, sexy adventures with your lobsters with me. I'll come back sometime and we can do some wild shit. Promise."

And then she was heading off - but not without trying to snag one last juice bag from out of the fridge.

Stabby lifted his claw for another bump.

"He'll write to you about the lobsters," the nurse who had spoken earlier said, smirking. "Don't worry."

"I'm not a doctor," Stark muttered.

"That's very obvious," Navaan told him, not unkindly but more than a little patronizing. "And yeah, Stabby, write me, too." She bumped his claw again. "Crustacean orgy!"

And with those are her parting words, Navaan sauntered out of the clinic for the last time.

...Again.

Probably these contain no pumpkin spice OR glitter. We hope.

How is it the end of August already

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Fandom Clinic, Monday 8/26

Front Desk

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Exam Rooms

OOC