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Stabby was playing video games in his tank. Stand tank also seemed to have some new blocks with question marks on them in it but Stark was just going to nod and move on.

The nurses were not playing games though one was offering advice to Stabby and another just providing color commentary.

Stark set down the day's coffees and settled himself at the desk. Maybe later there would be a 2 player game? Or a tournament.

For now the clinic was open, the crab was playing a game with mushrooms and plumbers, and the alien was in.

stykera

Stark looked like he'd spent a week relaxing in the sun. Because he had.

He'd brought back some rum for the nurses and delivered that today along with the usual round of coffees.

Stabby got a little carved crab to decorate his tank with. Stark didn't want him to feel left out.

The clinic was open, sadly not in a tropical locale, and the alien was in.

stykera

The clinic was a bit calmer this week than last week. Stabby was lounging in his tank looking extremely smug after his trip to visit his lobsters. None of the nurses were locked away in any closets or exam rooms together.

Stark had a very normal coffee order that he'd brought in with him and everything was back to business as usual. Well, 'business' was a strong word for the clinic. It was a quiet place.

"Anything of note today?" Stark asked as he set down the coffee and bagels he'd brought with him. "Or just...another day?"

"Just another day. Deep clean got done yesterday. Might get some people in for a pulled muscle or two? We'll see."

The clinic was open, the crab had had a very good week, and the alien was in.

stykera

Stabby was packing a suitcase when Stark arrived at the clinic.

"Going to visit his lobsters," a nurse said. "On account of the pollen."

"Right. The pollen." Stark nodded, cleared his throat, and held out the morning's coffee. "It's a stronger brew, they said. At the Perk."

"Might need something strong." The nurse nodded in return and turned away. "Oh. You should unpack those boxes there. Set up the display. None of us got to it yet."

The boxes were nearly overflowing with a variety of useful items for this week, including a number of extremely informational pamphlets about any number of topics including several on safety and consent. There were condoms, of course, a huge selection. There was lube. There was bottled water and sports drinks.

Stark was attempting to focus on setting things up and not on the actual items. He was at work. He was working. He was being useful.

The clinic was open, the crab was planning a romantic getaway, and the alien was in and trying not to think too much.

stykera

"He's protesting the groundhog," a nurse said before Stark could say a word. "Doesn't want 6 more weeks of winter and he's tired of what he calls rodent tyranny."

Stark blinked at the nurse, looked at Stabby's tank which was surrounded by signs, and decided it was best not to question things.

"I don't want more winter either," he said finally. "Here. Coffee?"

doctorgingerspice

The blanket was still covering Stabby's tank, but the sign had been updated to read Not Today Either.

The nurses hadn't totally noped out, but were all dressed in things like snuggies, fuzzy housecoats, and oversized cozy sweaters.

"It'd be unethical for us not to be around to help if someone was like, dying," explained one of the nurses to Will over a mug of hot chocolate the size of their head. "But don't expect any paperwork to get done today."

stykera

When Stark arrived at the clinic today he found Stabby's tank covered with a blanket bearing a sign that said simply Not Today.

Stark gave the nurses a curious look. "He's got the right idea," one said. "I'm thinking about joining him."

Stark had no good response to that so he just nodded.

The clinic was open, the crab was noping out of the day, and the alien was in.

stykera

Stark walked in, clutching the day's coffees, and set them on the desk with a very pathetic sounding "it's cold."

"We know," the nurses chorused. "Warm in here though."

Stabby even had a little sunlamp aimed at one end of his tank where he was sitting on a tiny beach chair and scrolling through his phone.

"TikTok," a nurse said by way of explanation.

Stark just shrugged. He was still free of all social media, somehow, even after his long association with Summer.

The clinic was open, the crab was watching short videos, and the alien was unhappy about the cold.

doctorgingerspice

Today, Stabby had a little crab-sized bow and arrow as well as a target set up on the other side of his tank for him to shoot arrows at.

"He's branching out from stabbing," one of the nurses explained.

"Honestly, I'm just glad he's keeping it contained to his tank," Will said. "Last thing we need is someone coming in to the clinic with one problem and ending up with a tiny projectile wound."

"Is it, though?" One of the other nurses asked. "I'm just saying, it's kind of boring around here. A little injury would give us something to do."

stykera

The little pear tree, still birdless, remained in the clinic lobby.

Stabby, of course, remained in his tank. Today he had a tiny wrapped package in there with him.

"He got you a birthday present, for tomorrow," one of the nurses said when Stark out the day's coffees. "He bought something off seaBay, i think."

"Thank you Stabby." Stark told him, grinning, as he reached for the gift.

The clinic was open, the crab was feeling generous, and the alien was in.

stykera

The birds of last week seemed to have flown away from the clinic. The pear tree, now partridge-free, was still in the lobby though.

"Maybe we should keep the tree?" Stark suggested as he handed over the morning's coffees. "It looks nice in here."

"As long as it doesn't start generating birds," one nurse said.

"Why would you say that out loud?" Another asked, shocked.

Stark just shook his head and settled in at the desk and said a hello to Stabby who appeared to be protectively crouching over 5 gold rings.

The clinic was open, the crab might be rich or engaged, and the alien was in.

doctorgingerspice

There was a kiddie pool full of swans in the middle of the clinic lobby.

Not to mention an absurd number of other birds. And a tree. Still.

"It's- " one of the nurses started to say.

"Seven swans a-swimming," Will finished. "Yeah. Don't worry. I get it."

stykera

Stark was at the clinic as usual with his coffees for the nurses and himself. It was almost the end of peppermint coffee season but hopefully the new year would bring some new flavors to the Perk.

That would have to wait though. Coffees were less important than whatever was happening around Stabby's tank.

"Why are there so many birds?" Stark asked, staring as he tried to find an empty space to set the coffees down. "Why is there a tree in here?"

"His true loves have been sending him gifts," a nurse said. "You know. The lobsters? Today we've got 6 geese-a-laying which...just avoid the geese. Don't want anyone getting bit. They've set up a nice nesting spot over there and we're all just going to let them be for as long as they need."

The clinic was open, the crab had a lot of gifts, and the alien was in and confused.

stykera

There was a metal pole in the lobby of the clinic when Stark arrived. There was a matching, smaller pole, inside Stabby's tank.

Stabby also had a list next to him.

"It's Festivus," a nurse explained. That wasn't much an explanation.

"He's ready for the Airing of Grievances. And the Feats of Strength."

Stark just nodded and sipped his own coffee after handing over the rest of the drinks.

The clinic was open, the crab had a list of grievances to air, and the alien was in.

doctorgingerspice

It really shouldn't have surprised Will at all to walk into the clinic and find it (and Stabby's tank, and Stabby himself) decorated with-

"Crab lights?"

"Crab lights," one of the nurses nodded.

Okay then.

stykera

Stark had remained unmolested by mistletoe on his walk to the coffee shop from his apartment and from the coffee shop to the clinic.

He was, one might say, blissfully unaware of what day of Fandom weirdness it was. Until he walked in to the clinic and saw that Stabby had a sprig of mistletoe in his claw with tiny shredded greenery scattered around his tank.

"Oh no."

"Oh yes," a nurse said, grinning. "Happy mistletoe day! Don't open that cupboard there. We've got some trapped. Hope nobody needs bandaids."

The clinic was open, infested with mistletoe, the crab was taking care of what he could, and the alien was in.

stykera

The crab was overly fond of the tinsel. It was everywhere in and around his tank.

"Everything is so shiny," Stark said as he pulled some tinsel off his mask after getting inside the clinic. Stabby held up a demanding claw until Stark handed him said tinsel.

"He's loving it," a nurse agreed before taking one of the coffees Stark had set down on the desk and removing some tinsel from the lid and dropping it into Stabby's waiting claw.

The clinic was open, the crab was living his best shiny life, and the alien was in.

stykera

There were ponies. In sweaters. Even Stabby was pleased by this development and was slicing carrots into smaller pieces to pass out to the ponies.

The carrots were courtesy of Stark who had, upon seeing his first pony this morning, immediately run back up to his apartment for a bag of carrots.

The clinic was open and all employees including the crab were charmed by the ponies. And yes, Stark was taking lots of photos.

stykera

"He's getting in touch with his inner child," a nurse said before Stark could even question why the crab was cuddling a stuffed octopus and watching cartoons.

"Oh. Right. Was he smaller this weekend then? Or is he making up for missing out?"

Stabby didn't answer.

The clinic was open, the crab was reliving his younger days, and the alien was in.

doctorgingerspice

When Will came in to the clinic, he saw Stabby's tank had a blanket thrown over it.

"What's with that?" he asked.

"Oh, he's feeling extra crabby today, so we're letting him be."

"He's a crab," Will reasoned, reaching for the blanket. "How bad could it be?"

"They meant to say 'extra stabby," one of the other nurses piped up just as Will was about to pull the blanket off.

"You know what?" Will said, withdrawing his hand. "I'm just going to let him be."

stykera

Stabby was sitting in a tiny armchair in his tank, wrapped in blankets, and looking miserable.

"What's wrong?" Stark asked when he walked in.

"Oh, he's caught something."

"Caught...a fish?" Stark asked.

"Ha. No. He's sick but not sick so he's just sitting around feeling sorry for himself. He'll be fine. We think."

What did you do for an unwell crab, anyway? And how did a crab catch a cold or whatever this was?

The clinic was open, the crab was ill, and the alien was in.

stykera

Stabby had kept his little pillowfort. Perhaps due to the fact that he seemed to have a new knife with which to defend his cozy fortress.

"I'm not sure waving the knife around is wise amongst all those pillows," Stark told him before he handed over the day's coffees and settled in at the desk.

So far the pillows remained unsliced. But for how long?

doctorgingerspice

The pillow fort was gone when Will came in to work today, however Stabby did have an armchair, in which he was sat reading a novel.

"David Lobsterfield?" Will asked, eyebrow raised.

"It's a classic," replied one of the nurses. "He's trying to expand his horizons."

stykera

"He looks so comfortable," Stark said, impressed, as he looked at Stabby's flannel pajama-clad self. "Where did he get all the tiny pillows to build a fort?"

"Stabby works in mysterious ways," a nurse intoned. "Hope you brought cozy coffees this morning."

The clinic was open, the crab had declared out to be Pajama Day, and the alien was in.

stykera

Stabby was being quite Stabby today but thankfully he was stabbing a pumpkin over and over to make a jack-o-lantern and not attacking any patients or staff members of the clinic.

He'd already completed one pumpkin (it was a crab, of course) and was hard at work on a companion piece.

"Best not to disturb him," one nurse said. "Not when he's so knife happy."

Stark nodded, handed over the coffees and the maple candy he'd brought back from the trip, and settled in a safe distance from the knife-wielding crab at the desk.

The clinic was open, the crab was carving a lobster design into a pumpkin, and the alien was in.

stykera

The weather was turning colder but not cold yet. Still, Stabby had apparently decided it was sweater weather for crabs. Where the crab had gotten a sweater was a mystery (though the answer was probably SeaBay) but it did look hand (or perhaps claw?)made.

Stark had a hoodie on, not a sweater, but he was drinking a PSL because he was reasonably sure that Summer wouldn't be stopping by before he could dispose of the evidence.

The nurses were drinking their own coffees, as usual, and admiring the stitching on the crab's sweater.

The clinic was open, the crab was cozy, and the alien was in.

doctorgingerspice

Stabby was still showing off Parents Weekend pictures, and Will? Will was being quizzed about his lack of visitors.

"Really?" One nurse asked, sounding skeptical. "Your brother didn't show up? Why?"

"It's complicated." Will said with a grimace.

"Well, what about that hot doctor?" Another nurse asked. "You know, the rich one?"

"Or your friend from med school? The one who was better than you at everything?"

"Not sure why you needed to add that particular qualifier," Will grumbled. "And how did you even know about her anyway? Or Connor for that matter?" Pay no attention to how he wasn't objecting to the use of 'hot doctor' to describe Connor Rhodes.

"We have our ways," the first nurse said mysteriously.

"Well, it's creepy. Stop it."

stykera

Stark had had an odd sort of weekend. It had been good to see Chiana, of course, it was always good to see her even if she had been disappointed by the lack of Summer for most of the weekend. They'd still enjoyed their time.

So, it seemed, had Stabby. He was showing off photos of him with visiting crustacean relations to the nurses and to Stark.

"You didn't bring your guest to meet us," a nurse told Stark pointedly. "Stabby did."

"He lives here," Stark pointed out. The nurses were unimpressed with this excuse. But they were still enjoying their coffees.

The clinic was open, the crab had pictures, and the alien was in.

doctorgingerspice

Much like Stark yesterday, Will was offered a sticker fairly soon after arriving for work. The sticker was promptly affixed to the pocket of his lab coat.

"Nice," one of the nurses commented. Stabby clacked his claws in what Will was going to assume was approval.

stykera

"Have a sticker," a nurse said as Stark entered with the morning's supply of coffee. "Stabby ordered a ton of sea creature ones off seaBay. He kept the lobsters for himself but there are plenty of crabs in the pile there."

"These are very cute. Thank you, Stabby."

The crab clacked his claws at Stark before getting back to whatever important crab business he was attending to.

Stark picked out a shiny sticker and stuck it to the back of his phone before settling in at the desk.

The clinic was open, the crab had a lot of stickers, and the alien was in.

stykera

Stabby had a lovely chainmail something in his tank today. It was in shades of blue and purple and pink and he was gazing at it lovingly. At least it appeared to be a loving gaze. It was hard to tell with crustaceans.

"He got chain mail mail from his lobsters," a nurse said. "He's going to have to send a gift back but he doesn't know what yet."

"Gifts can be hard," Stark said as he handed over the morning's coffees to a nurse and took his own to the desk. "Good luck, Stabby."

The clinic was open, the crab was mostly happy, and the alien was in.

doctorgingerspice

The lights were back to normal, but Stabby was... doing stretches?

"Crab-mps," one of the nurses informed Will before he could even ask.

"Right," Will shook his head. "Of course."

stykera

"I didn't know crabs could get headaches," Stark said, peering into Stabby's darkened tank.

"Sure, sure. He described it as a 'crabbing pains between his eyes.'"

Stark just looked at the nurse who had spoken for a long moment then shook his head. "Of course."

"So we're trying to keep the volume and the lights down," another nurse said. "To help him out."

So the clinic was full of staff quietly drinking their coffees today. At least at first.

stykera

Stark had coffees, as always, that he brought into the clinic with him. It was still iced coffee weather and pumpkin spice weather! These things should be taken advantage of.

Stabby was writing a letter, presumably to his lobster loves, and generally ignoring all the other clinic staff.

The clinic was open, the crab was busy, and the alien was enjoying his PSL.

doctorgingerspice

Stabby was still, well, kind of crabby when Will came in to the clinic that morning.

The nurses had clearly had enough of it, as they'd reactivated his PlentyOfCrustaceans profile and were trying to get him to look at different profiles.

Stabby was having none of it, for the record.

stykera

Stabby was moping today.

"He misses the lobsters and Navaan," one nurse said sagely. "But we bought some Crab Union merch to cheer him up. Here, change your shirt."

Stark took the shirt tossed to him and quickly pulled off his own shirt and replaced it with the Crab Union one.

"Thanks for the coffees."

Stark nodded, smiled, and settled in at the desk.

The clinic was open, the crab was mopey, and the alien was in (though his new shirt was a little too tight).

stykera

No classes this week meant Stark was at the clinic earlier than he had been of late. He still had all the coffees in hand for the nurses though, including multiple fall flavored ones.

Stabby, it seemed, was getting into the fall theme as well with some seasonal decorations going up inside and outside his tank. There was still glitter from last week as well. That was just how glitter worked. It lingered and sometimes replicated on its own.

The clinic was open, the crab was sparkly in a pumpkin spice sort of way, and the alien was in.

doctorgingerspice

The crab was still glittery by the time Will came in on Tuesday.

The crab was also asleep, and the nurses kept nodding off if they stood still for too long, though they all insisted they'd be just fine in the case of an actual medical emergency.

The clinic was open, just... with a serious case of the eepy, today.

stykera

Stabby was wearing a tiny black cap with tiny mouse ears on it when Stark arrived at the clinic after Paintball.

"One of his cousins went to Florida," a nurse explained. "And sent him some ears. And a lot of glitter. So much glitter."

There was, in fact, a fine layer of glitter coating the desk.

Stark just nodded and set down the coffees he'd brought.

The clinic was open, the crab was a mouse, and the alien was in.

doesdoctorstuff

It turned out that Stabby also had plans to go to the party tonight and needed held determining the correct bow tie.

"Okay, but where is he gonna put it?" one of the nurses whispered to the other.

"When are you going to learn to not ask questions on this island," whispered a third, shaking her head.

Not that the vampire or the crab were listening to any of them. Navaan was happily giving fashion advice. "No, no, that shade of yellow is terrible for you shell. Have you never heard of complementary colors? Now, are you leaning into the theme or what?"

"...Do you think she's going?" the second nurse asked, thoughtfully.

The third nurse nudged her. Hard. "Don't you speak that evil into the world," she hissed. "Not while we're on shift anyway."

stykera

Stark's day had started with squirrels demanding he do radio then there had been a very poor performance in Paintball and no photography class. And now he was at the clinic with the usual coffees.

Stabby and the nurses were glued to the TV watching Olympic coverage and Stabby had procured a crab-sized sparkly leotard from somewhere. Probably SeaBay.

Stark was content to settle in at the desk to enjoy watching things with his colleagues while occasionally glancing down at his phone. Just in case.

The clinic was open, the crab was sparkly, and the alien was in.

doesdoctorstuff

Navaan and Stabby were playing a very intense game of beer pong. And, unfortunately, Navaan was winning. Perhaps such an outcome was inevitable, considering their relative sizes and dexterity, but Stabby was about four sheets to the wind while Navaan was still stone-cold sober.

"Nyahh!" she howled at she made another person shot onto Stabby's side. "Not! It's not fair! I wanna drink!" She slapped one of the cups off the table. "I wanna be bad at this game!"

Stabby just gave her a very tipsy salute and stumbled back to his tank to pass out.

"I'm gonna drink the last of the booze!" she yelled after him. Stabby just raised a claw to indicate she should.

"Nyah!" Navaan flailed again. "Dumbest game ever!"

doesdoctorstuff

You know, Navaan had been focusing on the medical side of doctoring a lot lately and was getting restless about it. She should probably spend some time focusing on the other aspects of doctoring, like getting laid and solving mysteries. Or solving mysteries while getting laid. Or at least solving sexy mysteries.

"The biggest mystery is why almost everybody here is boring and hates sex," she informed Stabby, who was helping her compile a list of sexy mysteries to solve. "I can't tell if that would be a good mystery or a boring one."

Stabby clacked his claws at her. "Ooooh, you're right!" Navaan said. "I should do drugs about it!"

How was that related? Was that actually what Stabby had been communicating? Had she just wanted to do drugs all along and this was a convenient excuse?

The world may never know. But that wasn't stopping her from ~~handwavily~~ texting people to see if they were down for sex and/or drugs.

stykera

Paintball had not gone very well this morning. He and Summer had both been taken out far too early and Anakin had beaten both of them. Such an injustice. At least photography had been pleasant.

The usual supply of coffees in hand, he'd come into the office and found Stabby on the phone and the nurses watching with interest.

"He's trying to deal with an airline," a nurse said. "We're taking bets on how long he's stuck on hold."

Stark looked at everyone involved and shook his head.

The clinic was open, the crab was on hold and might be all day, and the alien was in.

doesdoctorstuff

So, that five love languages thing was stupid and also for squares, as romance itself was, so Navaan and Stabby had settled in to make up a far better and more useful quiz: the five sex languages: kink, foreplay, dirty talk, XTREME, and...crustacean.

You can guess which was Stabby's contribution.

They were currently arguing whether it should remain its own category, or if it should go under kink or a possible new fifth category, monsterfucker. The nurses were very carefully staying out of it, as nobody wanted to get roped into the discussion or into taking the quiz.

doctorgingerspice

Don't ask how the crab was managing to operate a human sized cocktail shaker. Will sure as hell wasn't. Nor was he drinking whatever the hell it was the crab was making.

"Yeah, no thanks," he said, holding up a hand to stop a nurse from attempting to hand him a martini glass full of- whatever the hell.

"More for me," shrugged the nurse.

The clinic is open, and at least the doctor isn't day drunk?

stykera

His classes were over for the day and Stark had picked up the usual array of (iced, all iced) coffees for the clinic staff.

When he arrived, Stabby was wearing sunglasses, lying on a tiny lounge chair, and drinking out of a tiny Stanley tumbler.

"He's staying cool," a nurse said. "Or so he says."

"But the air conditioning is very good in here," Stark said.

"It is. But the coffee is always appreciated even when it's hot. And who knows what he's got in that cup of his. Or where he got that colorway in such a tiny size."

Stabby was hardly a model employee. The drink was almost certainly alcoholic.

"SeaBay?" Stark asked.

"Probably."

The clinic was open, the crab was definitely the coolest one there, and the alien was in.

doesdoctorstuff

It had been awhile since I Navaan had remembered to show up for her shift. Inspired by this morning's class, she had decided to remake her other seducing outfit, the sexy ghoul. It involved a truly inordinate amount of gauze. Which, fortunately! The clinic had in great supply!

Or, well, they'd had in great supply. Navaan (and Stabby, of course, he was the crustacean Tim Gunn to her vampire Heidi Klum) had managed to go through a great deal of their stash. But what could they say? Art could neither be rushed nor skimped on.

"This is so got," she complimented Stabby. "Woooo, I'm a sexy ghoul....will I eat the dead or seduce the living today, wooo?"

Hopefully somebody would come in later bleeding profusely! Getting blood on it would make it extra spooky!

doctorgingerspice

Should Will be concerned about the fact that nothing unusual had happened to him, personally, this past weekend?

To be honest he was trying not to think about it. Which was difficult when the crab was still relaying reunion stories via the nurses.

stykera

It had been an odd weekend. Today hadn't started off any better with his disastrous paintball performance though it had improved after he found a particularly snuggly puppy during photography.

Still somewhat painty, Stark had brought the usual coffees and set them down.

One nurse gave him a once-over, shook their head, and handed over a package of wet wipes. "Clean yourself up then while we tell you about Stabby's tales from the reunion. You will not believe what he and his lobsters were up to!"

Stark offered a tiny smile in return and started in on some of the paint on his neck.

The clinic was open, the crab had stories, and the alien was in though in a mood.

Fandom High RPG

About the Game

---       Master Game Index
---       Thinking of Joining?
---       Application Information
---       Existing Character Directory

In-Character Comms

School and Grounds
---       Fandom High School
---       Staff Lounge
---       TA Lounge
---       Student Dorms

Around the Island
---       Fandom Town
---       Fandom Clinic

Communications
---       Radio News Recaps
---       Student Newspaper
---       IC Social Media Posts

Off-Island Travel
---       FH Trips

Once Upon a Time...
---       FH Wishverse AU

Out-of-Character Comms

---       Main OOC Comm
---       Plot Development
---       OOC-but-IC Fun

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Disclaimer

Fandom High is a not-for-profit text-based game/group writing exercise, featuring fictional characters and settings from a variety of creators, used without permission but for entertainment purposes only.

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