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Fandom Clinic, Monday 12/25 - HOW THE PINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS
Monday, December 25th, 2023 07:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stykeraEvery NPC down in Fandom Liked Christmas a lot...
But the Pinch, Who lived just in the clinic, Did NOT!
The Pinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his tank was too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his shell was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, His shell or his tank,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating all, to be frank,
Staring out from his tank with a sour, Pinchy frown,
At the warm lighted windows across the whole town.
For he knew NPCs out in Fandom outside,
Were busy now, celebrating the Yule Tide.
"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Pinch claws all nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"
"Well," one nurse had said. "That explains his mood, doesn't it?" But they'd ignored the behavior and carried on with their day. And Stabby had continued his plans to ruin Christmas.
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE PINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Pinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Pinchy trick!"
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a reindeer..." The Pinch looked around.
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Pinch? No! The Pinch simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
Fandom was, of course, full of teal deer and Stabby managed to harness one to a rickshaw. How? Who knows. It was Fandom. Just go with it.
( Yes there's more )
And later Christmas morning the head nurse could be heard lecturing Stabby.
"Honestly. You're a grown crab. If you're grouchy because you're molting and you need some time to yourself you just need to tell one of us! You could go to Furnado if you needed some away time. You could have gone to visit your lobsters. Instead you spent a month ruining all our Christmas fun and then last night you went on a crime-spree? Come on, Stabby! Be better."
[With apologies to Dr. Seuss and thanks todoctorgingerspice and outofthequiver]
But the Pinch, Who lived just in the clinic, Did NOT!
The Pinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his tank was too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his shell was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, His shell or his tank,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating all, to be frank,
Staring out from his tank with a sour, Pinchy frown,
At the warm lighted windows across the whole town.
For he knew NPCs out in Fandom outside,
Were busy now, celebrating the Yule Tide.
"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Pinch claws all nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"
"Well," one nurse had said. "That explains his mood, doesn't it?" But they'd ignored the behavior and carried on with their day. And Stabby had continued his plans to ruin Christmas.
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE PINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Pinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Pinchy trick!"
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a reindeer..." The Pinch looked around.
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Pinch? No! The Pinch simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
Fandom was, of course, full of teal deer and Stabby managed to harness one to a rickshaw. How? Who knows. It was Fandom. Just go with it.
( Yes there's more )
And later Christmas morning the head nurse could be heard lecturing Stabby.
"Honestly. You're a grown crab. If you're grouchy because you're molting and you need some time to yourself you just need to tell one of us! You could go to Furnado if you needed some away time. You could have gone to visit your lobsters. Instead you spent a month ruining all our Christmas fun and then last night you went on a crime-spree? Come on, Stabby! Be better."
[With apologies to Dr. Seuss and thanks to
doctorgingerspice and outofthequiver]