fandom_clinic | Lisa's in the House

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Lisa's in the House

Lisa opens the clinic, immediately refreshes the condom supply outside the door (typical), and goes back to the fridge to check on the gremlin in there. It doesn't appear to have moved, but she pokes it just in case.

"Gremlin? Gremmmmmlin? Hello?"

Satisfied, she puts it back in the fridge and grabs a few signs she made out of her bag.

Free Vaccinations at the Clinic today.
Rabies, The Plague, Meningitis, The Clap, you name it.

Several vaccinations are still in testing periods. The Clinic claims no responsibility for any side effects that may occur.

She sticks one to the outer door, and several around the campus right outside the clinic. Coming back inside to wait, she flips on House's mini-tv to catch the Fandom weather report.

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Fresh from his encounter with Principal Connor, Angelus limped his way into the clinic. He kept one hand pressed into his side, as though holding something in.

At the counter, he rang the bell.

"Hellooo? Student here, needing clinicing."

Hi, can I help you?

"Wouldn't hate an asprin," Angelus said, gesturing to the now green-tinted bruise around his eye, and then down to his shirt which was mussed, torn, and revealed the rainbow of bruises across his lower ribs. "Or whatever else you people do to get somebody out of pain. I was viciously assaulted by one of my fellow students."

Lisa ushers him gently over to a cot and gestures for him to lie down.

"Careful, careful, in case you have any internal injuries. Can you describe what happened to you? It's confidential; I need to know to assess your injuries."

She begins exploring his abdomen with light touches, and a conrcerned look on her face.

"Wouldn't doubt the internal injuries, doc, you'd be amazed the damage expensive pumps can do," Angelus looks down at her outfit. "On the other hand, maybe not." With geniune appreciation for good fashion, he says, "Nice suit."

Angelus let her guide him over to the cot. He occaisionally winces as squirms as she hits sore spots.

"Long tale of woe," he says, by way of answering her questions. "Suffice it to say I spent a good chunk of yesterday getting intimate with my carpet, and not because I'd had the fun of a good drink." He points to the spots on his body. "Eye. Think the lip's healed. Ribs - ow - and... uh... let's just say trying out for choir right now might not be a bad idea."

Lisa continues her probe of Angelus, determining that there doesn't seem to be any disturbed organs or internal bleeding, but he may have a fractured rib.

"Does it hurt to breathe? You'd be shocked by how much damage a well-placed heel can do... well, I guess you wouldn't be shocked anymore."

She grimaces, and continues.

"Do you have any swelling or bruising on your genitals? Abrasions? Does it hurt to urinate or masturbate?"

[ooc: don't mind me, just trying to muffle my laughter here at work]

Angelus took an experimental breath in. He immediately grabbed at his chest, gritting his teeth.

"Ow, yeah. Big yeah on the rib movement, doc. As for the rest, can't say I've had a chance to give it a try. There's a whole - " Angelus made a circular motion in the air " - desire to vomit when I even think about it."

"Okay, we'll tape up your ribs, and I'll give you some anti-biotics to fight off infection. The lip will heal on its own, try to keep the area clean as much as you can. If you belong to any athletic clubs, take a few weeks off so you can heal properly. No fencing, no wrestling, no using high-powered weaponry that could jostle your ribs, okay?"

Lisa gives him a reasuring smile.

"How long ago did you receive the... cockpunch?"

"Ask me what time is it now," Angelus said. "I think it was yesterday, but once there was connection the world kind of became a blur."

"And your still experiencing nausea? Shit."

Lisa paces a bit, and comes back to Angelus.

"I'm going to need to examine the area. We can do this one of two ways. I can close the curtain and we can do it now, I can give you a digital camera to take pictures of the area and then I can see if that will be sufficient for a diagnosis, or you could wait for a male member of the staff. Dr. House doesn't wander in until pretty late most days, but someone else might stop by. Depends on how much this hurts. I'll leave it up to you."

Angelus takes a second to assess their situation.

"Doc," he says, leaning in in the universal gesture of someone confiding something, "I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a little, you know, trauma - " he gave her a know what I mean? look " - right now what I really need in this world is a friendly face. Now call me crazy but I've got this feeling like I can trust you. Would I be wrong in that?"

"Everything will be strictly confidential."

She closes a curtain around the cot, and smiles. Grabbing a johnny from a small cabinet along the wall, she hands it to Angelus.

"Crap. Youth Medium is all I have. House is never allowed to do any ordering, every again. She imagines House smirking while giving the johnny to a hot, young girl and winces. I'll turn around, try to slip this on, okay? You can leave your... socks on."

Angelus stares at it. Stares at her. Stares at it. Stares at her. "And this is... what again?"

"It really is too small, huh? Okay... here's a sheet. Just, take your clothes off and cover the important parts with this. Modesty and all that."

"Sheets I know," Angelus said. He gave her a grateful look. "And I appreciate you respecting the modesty. After yesterday... well, like I say. Kindness is a virtue."

"I can imagine. I'll turn around now, tell me when you are ready, okay? Do you need any help with your shirt, or do you think you can manage?"

Angelus moved to take the shirt off, then aborted the gesture, groaning loudly.

"Oh man, doc, I do not want to do that again," he puffed out a breath of air. He gave her a rueful grimace. "Too bad I didn't take two asprin already, huh?"

"Well, we'll see what we can do. Why don't you leave the shirt on, and then we'll do what we need to do. I'm going to have to do a quick visual exam first, to make sure there are no cuts that I'll aggravate, then I'll replace the sheet and do a tactile exam. Tell me if it hurts anymore than it already does, but I promise to be gentle."

"I really appreciate that, doc," Angelus said. Behind the privacy of the curtain he shucked his clothes as instructed, got on the cot, then covered himself with the sheet. He gave copious moans and groans as he did it.

Once on the cot, Angelus puffed out a few more breaths, getting his face flushed - or as flushed as a vamp's face could get - with the resulting pain that it caused.

With a voice that was sounding more and more like Angel's, not that Cuddy actually knew who Angel was, he called out, "Doc? I think I'm ready."

Lisa gives him a warm smile.

"It might help to look away, don't want to embarass you."

She pulls back the sheet slowly, and sucks in a sharp breath.

"Okay, I have two questions. One, ummm... if you are cut, do you bleed generally, or do you have a clotting issue of some kind? And two, what size... how big... normally... I need you to look down and tell me if that is normal."

"I do bleed when people cut me," Angelus said. He motioned to his lip. "You should've seen that yesterday. As for the rest - " he looked down. He winced. "Okay, not usually that color... colors. Wow. Ouch. Rest is fine though, thank God."

She coughs.

"Wow, okay, good then. Looks like she clipped your thigh, I'll clean that up and bandage it for you. The would is a little... abnormal, but I think you'll be fine. As for the rest, if that isn't swelling, you'll just need to be very careful. Lots of rest. Ice may be uncomfortable, but why don't we try a cool compress and see if that helps?"

"You are a saint, doc," Angelus said. His momentary surprise at the extent of his wounds over, he managed to put himself back into more of the wide-eyed, souled mode. "And I should know. I'm a devout Catholic.

"Hey, um," Angelus cleared his throat, leaning in again for confidentiality. "You're obviously a very skilled healthcare professional. Can I - can I ask you... no, no. I shouldn't. Sorry. I'm sure it's wrong for me to even bring it up."

"No, no, it's okay. You can feel free to ask me anything. My lips are sealed, and I promise you can't embarass me."

[ooc: just going to zing this left as we're waaaaaay off the page here]

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Lisa's in the House

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