(no subject)

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

Lee enters timidly. "Hello?"

Comments

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

"It opens? The vagina isn't a garage door, babe. And I was talking about the 'stuff' inside it. Can you tell me the difference between the labia and the clitoris?"

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

I certainly can't.

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Lisa runs to a file cabinet and pulls something out.

"Oh shit, do you speak Spanish? Here, look at this (http://kidney.niddk.nih.gov/spanish/pubs/bodydesign/images/vagina.gif) anyway. Sorry, House must have done this order, he must have found it funny. I may quiz you on that material, so study up."

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

Lee stares at the diagram.

And passes out.

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Lisa rubs her knuckles into his collarbone painfully to stir him. "Lee, it is just a vagina. No teeth, can't bite. Promise. You need to wake up now."

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

Lee opens his eyes and glares at her. "I can't trust what you say! You're one of them! It COULD very well have teeth!"

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

"Okay, this is NOT that proper attitude if you want to get laid. And make one more comment like that and watch me hitch my skirt up. You thought I gave you reason to pass out before..."

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

Lee whimpers.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

John boggles at the thought of Cuddy hitching up her skirt.

"Do you do that a lot? Hitch up your skirt?" John waves two hands at her quickly. "Not like that, not like that. I mean, to prove a point in the clinic or are we just special?"

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

"Not that we want you to hitch up your skirt at all."

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

"I was being sarcastic. As a general rule, I am not a walking anatomy lesson. But maybe I should, for the good of the rest of the women at Fandom High."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

John scratches his head. "It unfolds? It does something to allow the manstaff in," John says. "Difference? Uh...about three letters?" John says playfully. "Okay, no. One is on top and one is all around?"

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

"Oh sweet mother of... vaginas are not carpets, despite the vulgar term. They don't unfold, unfurl, or in any way act like a rug.

First, study this (http://www.aguaviva.mus.br/enfermateca/Fotos/vagina.jpg), I have no idea why all the vaginal diagrams in the clinic are in Spanish, but such is life. You get the idea. Now, when a man is aroused, he gets an erection, right? When women are aroused, through the wonderful world of foreplay, blood rushes to their genitals as well. Only what this does is makes the vaginal opening more ready to accept the penis in. That's it. A little cum and some muscle work. Nothing flaps or swings open."

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

Lee is so glad that he passed out so he didn't have to hear this.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

John looks at the diagram and promptly has his eyes bug out. "Well, that's certainly a very artistic represntation." John laughs a little nervously. "I knew all that, seriously. I was just testing you," John finishes lamely.

He looks at the floor near him to Lee's passed out form. "He gonna be all right?"

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

"No."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

John smiles sympathetically. "Sorry buddy. At least she's smart and telling us what to do! The guy at the convenience store would've grunted at us and smirked!"

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

"Are you guys going to pass out again if we continue this? No offense, but I can't afford to have 'gave a guy a concussion explaining what a vulva is' on my transcript."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"I didn't pass out! I stayed upright. Mostly." John is obviously very proud of himself.

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

"Okay, do you have any other questions, or not?"

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

_{[ooc: *dies and loves you and dies of funny again*]}

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]