fandom_clinic | (no subject)

"We're friends, Parkie. Lee asked to come and I did the friendly thing and came with him." John glares at her some more.

Parker hears that, just looks at John, grinning.

"Oh. I see. You came together?"

"Yes, we came together but not in that way!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I won't tell, I swear. I know that performance anxiety can hit *any* man..."

John almost snaps out something mean but stops. Instead, he pastes on a fake smile and says, "That's super, Parker! I'm having so much fun! I'm so perky," he says in a very poor imitation of Parker's Homecoming night.

Parker glares evilly.

Then smirks.

"Hey, as long as you guys are being Boy Scouts, it doesn't matter what supplies you're stocking up on."

She leans over and looks at the basket of condoms.

"Didja get the flavored ones?"

Lee coughs loudly. "FLAVORED ONES?! Why would you need flav--"

He freezes.

"--oh."

"I don't think you're ready for that step yet, Lee. We'll try that next time." John flusters when he realizes what he's said. "Not on each other! On someone else but not each other. We are not gay!"

Lee starts getting all academic about it, omg, "but if you really loved someone, wouldn't you want to taste them and not some cheap imitation cherry flavor?"

"But what if they taste bad? Skin can taste pretty bad, you know."

Well, a shower before hand could help...

"God, one would hope."

Parker chortles. "Variety is the spice of life, Adama. And there's breath mints, and orange juice, and..."

_[[*dying*]]

"That's just...wrong." Lee shakes his head trying to stop all the frakkin' images in his brain.

"Don't listen to her, Lee. She eats babies, remember."

"Yes, don't listen to her, Lee. She's a *girrrrrl*. What would *she* know about sex?" Parker mocks.

Lee worries that his hypothetical lady friend would want a flavored condom.

Parker *smiles*. Evilly. With dark red lipstick.

Lee stares at her lips and coughs.

[ooc: *dies*. I love you two. Seriously.]

[OOC: We luvvv you too!]

[ooc: Aww - c'mere you big lug!]

[ooc: group hugs yay!]

[ooc: You - you're the guy! I love you man!

BTW this reminds me I have a vague plotty idea for you. Check your email in a bit.]

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whitedeathpod.livejournal.com - 2005-10-11 12:23 (UTC) - Expand

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notstakedyet.livejournal.com - 2005-10-11 12:32 (UTC) - Expand