fandom_clinic | FTEC - Tuesday, 06/08

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FTEC - Tuesday, 06/08

Hawkeye was busy working at the front desk. No, he wasn't doing inventory or reviewing patient charts. He had glue and scissors and all kinds of decorative items creating a large poster on STDs. This was to join the other similar posters on a table in one of the exam rooms on similar subjects that he planned to put around town. They weren't aimed only at the kids. Adults needed educational posters too.

There was a sign out front today that said 'No birds, no bees and definitely no bull. Free advice and samples inside!' and a bowl full of condoms inside on the desk.

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She took a breath, not meeting his eyes now as she looked around the room. "Nothing. I guess - just a headache that wouldn't go away." Her eyes were burning, and she blinked fast, trying to make it stop.

Edited 2010-06-09 01:30 (UTC)

It was the weekend all over again. Dimitri could tell Rose wasn't telling him everything and he didn't understand what was with the need to lie. "Roza," he murmured again, squeezing her hand as his eyebrows furrowed in consternation. "Please...please tell me."

To her everlasting shame, Rose felt tears build up in her eyes. It was too hard to lie to him when he was talking like that, his voice so worried and soft. "It's ghosts," she said finally, staring up at the ceiling. "I saw ghosts."

If Rose hadn't been so incredibly upset, Dimitri might have simply stared at her until she explained. Instead he had to push aside his own doubts and encourage her. "What do you mean?"

"He's been following me for months," she explained convolutedly. "Mason. It sounds insane, but it's really him. Or his ghost. That' what happened with Stan. I was so surprised to see Mason at St. Vlad's - I just froze. I didn't know what to do. He was there today too - and others. And the headache." She felt a tear trickle down her cheek and wiped it away quickly, hoping Dimitri hadn't seen. "I'm not crazy. They're real."

Not knowing how that was even possible, Dimitri bit his lip, trying to process quickly and figure out what he could say. "Of course you're not crazy," he said finally. "Did you know any of the others you saw?"

Rose finally looked back at him, trying to meet his eyes. They were still serious and without mockery, and something in her chest loosened that he wasn't immediately calling her insane. "I saw some of Victor's guardians. And the children from the massacre. And Lissa's...Lissa's family was there too."

Dimitri fell silent and thoughtful, trying to figure out why she would see people he'd killed along with a group that certainly made some sense for her to see...or imagine she'd seen.

The problem was, even in their world of good and evil vampires, ghosts weren't real. But here in Fandom? His eyes were a little more open than they might have been otherwise.

"And the headaches?"

"I don't know," she said. She hated feeling like she was sick or something and pushed to sit up in the bed. "It was worse today, and then when they all came, when I could really see them, it felt like my head was going to explode so I guess they're connected."

"And this has been going on for how long?" Dimitri asked, recalling mention of the headache for some time and wanting to verify that fact.

"Um, seeing Mason?" Rose checked. "Since March, I guess."

Dimitri blinked, shocked that this had been going on since...well, the whole time they'd been together and she'd never breathed a word about it. His hand moved up to her forearm, holding tightly like it would keep her looking at him.

"Rose," his voice was like an amplification of the tear she'd just made in his heart with that admission, "this shouldn't have been the first time I heard about this! Why didn't you tell me? Do you know what it was like for me to hear you'd collapsed and not know what was happening? Do you know how scared I was to see you laying here unconscious for hours?"

The pain in his voice made her heart stop, and Rose stared at him, stunned at his reaction. There were so many emotions written on his face, that she didn't know what to address first, how to respond.

So she said the stupidest thing possible. "...you're not scared of anything."

How had she missed that he was terrified of losing her?

"I'm scared of lots of things. I was scared for you," Dimitri told her, all the passion and worry he felt for her on display in a way that likely went against their unspoken agreement. "I'm not perfect. I'm not invulnerable."

Fuck their agreement. Rose caught his other hand and pulled him towards her as she leaned in, wanting to kiss him for saying that.

There was no pulling away from that, and he returned the kiss briefly. "You can't distract me from this," Dimitri said quietly.

She didn't bother denying it though the temptation to ask him to lay off and just hold her right now was great. Still, Rose kept hold of his hand, wanting the connection.

"I know you're not - I mean -" she couldn't get the words out though she wasn't looking away from him. Even knowing him as well as she did now, it was hard to believe he worried and cared that much about her.

He did realize that she'd just woken up from a rough sort of sleep, so there was no heat in his voice and his free hand reached up to push strands of hair away from her face while he continued talking. "This was what you wouldn't talk about after the hearing. All those questions about ghosts with the priest, and for months before...you were dealing with all of this alone? Why didn't you tell me?"

Rose leaned into the touch, relaxing a little against his hand though she looked up to meet his eyes. "I didn't know if it was real for a long time," she explained. "And - I didn't think you'd believe me."

"Well...it's certainly not something I ever expected to hear," Dimitri admitted, looking a little nervous by the way her assertion was altering his worldview.

"Do you believe me?" Rose asked, catching the nervous look as she watched him closely.

"I want to believe you," he answered earnestly, "but I don't believe in ghosts." Even after some of the things he'd seen in Fandom, disbelief was difficult to fully crack.

Rose shrugged, feeling a little bit defeated. Somehow she'd been hoping he'd just believe her. "Well, yeah, that's why I couldn't tell you or anyone else. I don't want people thinking I'm crazy."

"I don't think you're crazy," Dimitri said quickly and honestly. "But you've been through a lot this year. And the ghosts you saw...there's a lot of trauma behind how you last saw them."

"No, it's more than that," she said, shaking her head as she pulled back away from him. "And - if even you won't believe me, no one will."

FTEC - Tuesday, 06/08

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