fandom_clinic | FTEC, Monday, January 28

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FTEC, Monday, January 28 - Day Shift

The nurses were fighting. It wasn't every day they had a patient to take care of. A male patient. A hot male patient. So unsuprisingly, there were several arguments about who got to check on said patient, take his vitals, change his bandages, fluff his . . . pillows.

[ooc: mod a nurse; if you would like interaction with a doctor, ping me at Chaos of Passion on AIM.]

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"He said he's been watching me. He knows about my visions and...he said he has plans for me, and that there are others like me, other kids like..." Sam's hands were shaking as he tried to keep his composure, but the more the words poured out, the closer he got to losing it. "He said my mom and Dawn were in the way, that they were collateral...he killed my mom because of me and he tried to kill Dawn and he almost killed Dean and..."

"Hey, hey - " Peter said, gently. He reached out to put one hand over Sam's hands, the other around Sam's back in a hug. "He's a demon. Of course he's going to say bad things. And even if any of that was true it didn't work this time. Dawn's okay, Dean'll be okay, and you're still here. And whatever plans he's got for you can go screw."

"But don't you get it? If it wasn't for me, my mom would be alive. Dad wouldn't be hunting. Dean would be safe. They'd all be fine, and they're not, and it's because of me." He was too far gone to stop the tears, or the shaking, even with Peter's arm around him. "I knew there was something wrong with me. I knew it."

"Like hell there is," Peter said. He pulled Sam into a tight hug. "Sam, if the demon had gone after Grace instead of you, would you blame her for Dean right now? If he'd gone after me would you blame me?"

Logic wasn't something Sam was dealing with well at the moment, but he still shook his head. "Of course not."

"It's not your fault, Sam," Peter said, not letting go anytime soon. "You didn't ask for this to happen."

"What if he wasn't lying?" Sam said. "He wouldn't have come out here for nothing. What if really does want something from me?"

"Then he can go fuck himself," Peter replied, easily. "Nobody around here is letting you go without a fight, least of all me."

"No," Sam said firmly, starting to pull away. "No one else is getting hurt because of me."

Peter didn't let go. "Sam, I swear to God one of these days I'm going to find out how to tattoo the words 'self-healing, jackass' to the inside of your eyelids so I don't have to keep repeating myself."

"Okay, fine. You'd be fine. But what about everyone else?" Sam asked. "The clinic has been full for days with people who got hurt because they were trying to protect me. How am I supposed to deal with that?"

"Feel bad, try to help them, figure out how to do it better next time," Peter said. "And by the way it's not your choice to make. I'm saying that both to help with that guilt you're feeling, and to let you know it's going to be a huge waste of your time to try to convince me not to help you."

"I'm still going to try," Sam said quietly. "What kind of person would I be if I knew how to keep people safe, and didn't try?"

"Trying is okay," Peter said. "Running off to be by yourself is not. And before you argue that let me remind you about how you're talking to the guy who blows up a city."

"You're not going to blow up a city. Maybe you should get that tattooed on your eyelids," Sam said, before sighing. "My dad has a friend named Bobby. He knows all sorts of out of the way places where someone can survive on their own." Not that he'd been thinking about that or anything.

Peter could see how logic wasn't getting him anywhere. So he said, "No."

"I could do it. It would be good for everyone," he said, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand. "I don't know what else to do."

Peter resisted the urge to wipe Sam's tears away. "Still no."

"Dean almost died, Peter," Sam said, stubbornly continuing. "Remember how you felt last week? How you said you'd do anything to keep Nathan from dying? Why can't I do the same thing for Dean?"

Peter tried to meet Sam's eyes. With a completely straight face he replied, "Because I said so."

That didn't exactly make Sam feel less stubborn. "You expect me to keep everyone I care about in danger because you said so? What, Dean means less than Nathan, so I should just let him stay at risk?"

"Sam, if you go Dean will go after you and I will go after you and Nathan will go after me," Peter said. "And not for nothing but what's to stop the demon from going after everybody while you're gone? He's a demon, Sam. He's not going to tell the truth or keep promises or be nice to the people you care about because you play his game."

"I--I don't know, okay?" Sam said, and if he was sounding frantic again, he couldn't help it. "I don't know what would stop him. I spent all night thinking about what he said to me and I still don't know what to do."

Peter went to hug him tighter. "Yeah. How dare you not come up with a plan in the five minutes you've had to think since your family was attached, your father was possessed, and you've had - what? A second to think about sleep? And you call yourself a nerd."

Sam let himself sink against Peter, and stopped trying to hold back. He had to stay composed in front of everyone else, but with Peter, it was different.

"Peter, I'm really scared," he said quietly, sounding ashamed to be admitting it.

FTEC, Monday, January 28 - Day Shift

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