fandom_clinic | Clinic [2/8]

After her discussion with Professor Dream, Susan was more optimistic about Pip's progress, as well as different treatments available.

Pip came in a little late, water still dripping from his hair.

"Sorry, doctor. I was in the shower and saw what time it was at practically the last second."

"That's quite all right, Pip. I hope your week is going well?" Susan settled in with a smile. "I talked about your nightmares with Professor Dream, as it happens."

"It's... been an interesting week. A very interesting week," Pip responded.

"Go on. Were there more nightmares, less...?"

_{[[It's been an eventful week. Would you rather I RP explaining it or can I just link drop?]]}

_{[link-drop is fine]}

"Well..." Pip said. He detailed the last week. Specifically His reaction to the vampire hunting incident (http://notstakedyet.livejournal.com/44361.html?thread=1816649#t1816649), being chewed out by his dead father while meditating with Blair (http://cyclopeanmerc.livejournal.com/4754.html), his attempt at a peace offering (http://notstakedyet.livejournal.com/44788.html?thread=1974004#t1974004), his attempts to apologize to others (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhigh/607691.html), and, finally, his conversation with Angel only hours before. (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhighdorms/454299.html)

_{[[OOC: Sorry for the massive link dump!]]}

"Good... heavens." Susan's eyes were very wide by the end of this recitation, and she shook her head. "I won't address your actions with Angel, who I have yet to meet, or the others in the 'study group.' It sounds as if you've done everything you can to make peace with them, for now . I am glad your attempts at meditation were so-- fruitful. How are you feeling now? How are your nightmares? Especially after the meditation?"

"Well... I have been sleeping better. I also remembered something about the event that I might have forgotten to mention."

"Why do you think that is? And what didn't you mention?"

Pip scratched the back of his head. "Well, the thing that happened where I lost my eye? ...There were some casualties... and a few of my friends died."

"I'm not sure why, exactly, I'm sleeping better. Maybe the meditation's part of it. I think maybe I feel a little better knowing that my parents are proud of me? I mean, assuming it was actually them. I think it was."

Susan smiled, then said, "A very smart teacher of mine once said: when it comes to dreams, it doesn't matter if it's real. What matters is how it real it is to you-- and how much it helps. I think you're very lucky that Blair has some experience in this area. Oftentimes dream quests can go awry, if you don't have someone there to anchor you."

Pip smiled. "I like that. Yeah... I think it was them. It... it was good to see them. I mean... I've never met them... but I miss them. If that makes any sense."

Susan nodded. "Do you have any memorabilia that belonged to them? Pictures, photos, possessions? Sometimes those things can make us feel closer to people we lost too. I might help you achieve some peace, when you meditate." Her smile turned bittersweet. "That said, I hope you don't expect to see your parents every time you do a meditation. As lovely as that would be, it probably won't be possible." She made a note on her pad.

"Now. To get back to the detail you previously omitted." Susan studied him soberly. "The deaths of others, during the attack on the school."

Pip ondded. "Yeah. There was a firefight when the stormed the school and... some people got caught in the crossfire. A few were my friends."

"Why didn't you feel you could include that in your previous explanation, Pip?" Susan asked, her voice quiet. "Why was that more difficult than the rest?"

Pip grimaced. "... Guilt. I felt guilty about their deaths. I mean, the terrorists were there because of me." He shook his head. "I mean, I guess I know it's not really my fault. But I still felt guilty."

"Being the cause of someone else's actions does not mean that we are responsible for them," Susan pointed out.

"What you're engaged in is classic survivor's guilt, and a very normal coping mechanism; the thought of how out of your control those events were is too much to handle. You can make them-- make sense, by assuming that your absence would have stopped the worst of it. But you have no way of knowing that."

"That's what my father said," Pip commented, lighting a cigarette. "Well, something similar. He said that I couldn't know how my presence would have helped the vampire hunting party."

"And it's as true of the past as it is of the present." Susan studied. "I know that saying it isn't enough; it's the kind of thing that takes time to process. If we went to the nearest playground, and I showed you a ten-year-old boy-- any boy, even one who knew martial arts, or about violent worlds-- would you expect him to stop mercenaries in their tracks? Or to talk his grandfather out of an assault strike?"

Pip took a long drag on his cigarette. "No," he said. "I guess not."

"So start to let that go, Pip. You can't live with that awareness full-time without it effecting your mental and physical health." Susan stood up and brought the sandtray back over to the coffee table.

"You were showing me last week, how your past developed, and where you are now," she said, pointing to the figures of himself and his grandfather, and himself alone at school, but with friends to the side. "After talking to your parents, is there anything you would change about this? Either for the past, or for the future?" She pointed to the soldier, whose family was off to the side.

Pip took a longer drag on his cigarette as he looked over the box.

"... Can I have the box of figurines again?"

"Certainly." Susan retrieved them from the cabinet. "Take whichever ones you need."

Clinic [2/8]

Counseling - Pip Bernadette

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