fandom_clinic | FTEC, Wednesday, January 3

"It was impossible. Which, I later discovered, was the point."

"That isn't right." Aziraphale frowned, wondering why anyone would want to force a child not to have friends. "The fact that I never had but the one friend before coming here was my own fault, but no one should try to stop a person from having friends. You can't...you need people who care about you because they want to, not because they have to."

"That is very true, and I had my Papa, and Fredolf, and Mr. Neilson... But... We didn't age back then. And Papa didn't want me to have to watch my friends get old and gray while I stayed the same."

Oh, Aziraphale did understand that fear. It was part of why he'd kept people at an arm's length for so long.

"But it's worth the time you spend with them, before that happens," he murmured, thinking of the early days with Wilson, before Above had offered their end of the Arrangement. And of Kiki, and she'd been years older the last time he saw her, than she'd been when they'd left Fandom.

"The Doctor and...we talked about something like that too. And it's awful to see so much change happen, while you stay...just the same as you are. But it's worth it."

"I thought so too. But that was hard, and I had the ability to give it up. So I could stay with them. And I did. But... I'm here now. And they're still in Sweden. Or rather they're in a Sweden that the causeway might decide to never let me go back to. But I'm not alone."

"Sometimes, even though home is a beautiful place, and it's filled with people who you know love you, the world is a better place for you to be in. It's messier, and sometimes it's strange and lonely, but it's just...better."

Aziraphale squeezed Pippi's hand gently, thinking once again how very grown up so many of his young friends were, despite their physical youth.

Pippi wasn't entirely sure what to say to that. She thought rather that trouble occurred when one forgot that one's home was part of the world.

Of course, this view could just be the result of growing up on a ship.

So she didn't say anything, and squeezed his hand in return.

Probably trying to compare Pippi's situation with his own wasn't the best sort of analogy to make, but Aziraphale did the best he could with the surprisingly limited experience he had to work with. He didn't notice her puzzlement though, and so just looked up at smiled softly.

"I'll let you get back to your stories and songs, my dear. I can't know for certain, but it seems to me that if James is in a place where he's struggling, it ought to be a great comfort for him to hear the voices of the people who love him."

"You should tell us a story then."

"Me?"

Aziraphale's voice almost squeaked. "Oh no, I don't know any stories. Angels aren't creative the way mortals are. I wouldn't know what sort of story to tell."

"Aren't you going to teach a whole class about stories?"

"Oh. Well, er...yes, that's true. I suppose I could tell one of those stories."

A bit relieved that he was off the hook as far as having to make up his own story, or tell about something that had happened to him, Aziraphale sat quietly for a moment while he pondered his options.

"All right then," he said finally. "Do you know the one called The Goose Girl (http://www.authorama.com/grimms-fairy-tales-14.html)?"

And then he proceeded to tell the story, speaking in a soft tone but loudly enough that his voice would carry easily to Wilson's ears as well.

"I suppose the moral of the story is either 'you just can't good help now a days' or 'if asked to pass judgment on a hypothetical situation, be merciful.'"

"Well...I rather like the second moral myself," Aziraphale replied. "I think that's a good one to apply to any situation, really."

Strangely enough, the story also put a thought into his head that had really nothing to do with the tale. Standing, he slipped his hand into his pocket and then pulled out a wee paper duck, which cocked its head and looked up at him, as if confused over the sudden and unexpected relocation. Aziraphale set the origami duck gently on Wilson's pillow, and it waddled over to nestle against his hair, with a whispery quack.

Pippi made a squeeky "Awwww" noise.

The little duck made a papery quacking noise in reply, and then bent its head and seemed to go to sleep.

"James loved those," Aziraphale murmured. "He gathered them all up after I made them, and he keeps an eye on them to make certain they don't end up falling into the bath or the fireplace."

He turned his head and smiled at Pippi. "I was drunk," he explained.

~~Yes, I remember reading that thread "We're keeping the ducks!"~~

"You're obviously an adorable drunk."

Aziraphale chuckled ruefully. "I don't know that I've ever been called that. I think I was feeling...well, it was during the Emoo thing, so I'm not certain what I was feeling."

He gave a little shrug, and decided not to mention the wee duckies with horns that he'd made when he'd gone and got drunk at the Devil's Nest, after he and Wilson had fought. Because then he couldn't very well blame it on the Emoo, could he?

"I made bats for Miss Tam, at Halloween. I wonder if she still has them."

"Oh yes, I see one fluttering around her head every now and again.:"

Raising his eyebrows at that, Aziraphale smiled. "Well, I'm glad that she's been able to keep them, then. I was afraid they might have become a nuisance."

He sat back down, and looked up at Pippi. "Thank you for coming, my dear. It's been so...comforting, having all of you visit. And I know I haven't been very gracious at times, but I don't think I would be able to stand the waiting and the worrying by myself."

"Well you don't need to be by yourself. You got a phone."

Phale and Wilson were so nice, they were always there for the students when somebody needed guidance or someplace safe.

Like the time Pippi used her crystal ball to try and figure out what was wrong with Walter...

Crystal Ball... Hmm... Wheels. In brain. Turning.

"You call if you need. I don't sleep as much as most people."

Aziraphale blinked, realizing that he should have called some people, and that there were still a few who might need to hear from him. He nodded, grateful for Pippi's offer.

"I'll do that, if I find myself fretting too much, and not knowing what to do."

FTEC, Wednesday, January 3

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