FH Clinic, [2/14]

[susanofnarnia.livejournal.com]

Susan's more amused by this holiday than anything, so she has taped up the red lollipops, and also gotten out DEATH's sex ed display. The one with the condom balloon animals.

She's waiting on a couple patients, but if you have questions, feel free to talk to her.

Comments

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Marty nodded. "Basically we both realized that when problems crept up in our relationship we tended to run away from our problems instead of facing them straight on. I also promised not to risk my neck without any kind of reason."

[susanofnarnia.livejournal.com]

Susan's smile widens, and she nods. "I can already tell that some of your depression is lifting with this. But I'd like to keep coming in, to talk about what you're going to do to make that possible. You still haven't told me what you used to do for a living that was so problematical, you realize." She taps her pen on her pad, amused. "But this may be the easiest absence for a patient I've ever had. Usually they come back in worse shape after they've missed sessions. What else have you been doing?"

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

"Well, I was sick the week before last," Marty remarked looking a little nervouse, "Last week was my amnesia week. And in my former profession I used to be a-"

The rest has become a mumble.

[susanofnarnia.livejournal.com]

"A... what?" Susan watches him a moment, then suggests, truthfully but not without humor, "If you want to write it down, instead of saying it, that's okay, you know. We can burn the paper."

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Marty shakes his head and quietly says, "No I might as well come out and say it... I used to be a professional killer, but then either I found a new respect for life and gave it up."

[susanofnarnia.livejournal.com]

"Ah." Susan blinks, hard. More at the thought of someone so young being an assasin than the actual confession. "I knew it would probably be more than drug-dealing, but I admit. This is rather a shock." She takes a breath, then lets it out, getting her own reactions cataloged and under control: shock, a little fear, anger for Marty's sake (how did this happen to him?), and then, curiosity. "New found respect for life?" She leaned her head on her hand, and studied him. "And where did you find it? It's a gift, that kind of respect. You didn't just trip over it, I assume."

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

"Actually I started to lose a taste for the job right before I came here. Then I met Angela and... Well I really didn't want to do the job I came here for," Marty said trying to make it sound somewhat normal.

[susanofnarnia.livejournal.com]

"I can see how a closer relationship could reinforce your wish for normality, and also decrease your affinity for your former work," Susan said, thinking as she wrote some notes-- *not* using the word 'hired killer' anywhere. "If it wouldn't compromise your safety, or my responsibility to report evidence of crimes, can you expand on what was happening before you came to Fandom?" Susan rubbed her eyes. "We'll get into your introduction into that line of work later, I think."

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

"I was really depressed. Totally lost my desire to do my job," Marty said thoughtfully. "It was beginning to get to me. Then one day when I was on an assignment in the middle east, I came up over a sand dune and saw this oil field on fire. Blazes where everywhere. I just sat down and watched it for hours. It was then that I got a sneaky suspicion that there was some meaning to life but I just didn't know what it was."

[susanofnarnia.livejournal.com]

Susan took a slow breath. "Have you come to any larger conclusions for that? I assume that you didn't have any strong beliefs before you entered your former profession. I'm not asking if you believe in a higher power, or being. Do you know what you want the meaning of your life to be, though?"

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

"Well before I came into my "job". I had run away from home and joined the Army. When they tested me they found that I had a certain kind of "moral flexibility" and I was loaned out to a special program. I guess that flexibility allowed me to think that there was a difference between who I ws and not what I did. I mean if I showed up at your door, my rationalization was that you did something to deserve it."

Marty sat back with a little bit of a frown on his face.

"When I started coming to school here, that changed. I started my relationship with Angela. I took some religion courses which made me question my views even more. I don't know what kind of conclusions I've drawn from that experience or if I believe in a higher power. I just know I don't want to be what I was."

[OOC:Damn! GPB References Everywhere!]

[susanofnarnia.livejournal.com]

Internally, Susan was cursing the U.S. Army rather vehemently. Of *course* an adolescent would have moral flexibility; at that age, the need for structure made it relatively easy to provide a teenager looking for stability with a new framework, absent anything already in place. Aloud, she said, "So you basically accepted that the government would make moral choices for you, without questioning their agenda. The end justifies the means, in effect."

"Do you think it's likely that you'll become that again? I'm asking if you're worried you'll become a killer, a killer-for-hire, or a person with that same 'moral flexibility' that you referred to earlier."

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

"I don't think so. It's possible I suppose and probably what I fear the most," Marty said with a little bit of fear on his face. "Another part of me wonders if there's anything I can do to redeem myself for what I've done."