fandom_clinic | Clinic Check-outs for Lisa Cuddy's Patients

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Clinic Check-outs for Lisa Cuddy's Patients

Lisa runs around between patients, and stands in the middle of the room to shout.

"Hey guys, everyone who is leaving, can you just sign this sheet before you go? Thank you!"

Then she scurries off to see if Max is trying to find more drugs when she isn't paying attention.

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Logan gets to his feet and, wavering a little, walks over to the sign-out sheet. He's scratching his cheek, and it looks like he hasn't shaved in a couple of weeks. Also, he needs a haircut and his eyebrows are almost long enough to get in his eyes.

Well. That went well. (http://www.livejournal.com/community/fandom_clinic/6520.html?thread=100216#t100216) Max scurries out of an exam room and totally ignores the sign-out sheet.

In the process, he completely slams into ...

"Chewy?"

Max dislikes hippies. He prefers bohemians, really. And this guy has hippy written ALL over him. He cringes.

"Hey, watch it, asshole," Logan shoves Max away and scratches at his neck. God, that shot must've had some skin irritant in it. He's itching all over. "What the hell's your problem?"

"Can't see," Max explains, pointing at his glasses. "...Very well, anyway. But, I can see that you need a good barber. My dad's one if you--"

Is this dude's hair getting longer as Max watches?

It is. In fact, all the hair on his body is growing at a rapid rate. Logan tries to brush something out of his eyes, and realizes it's an eyebrow. "What the --?" He tugs at an eyebrow. "Is there a mirror around here?"

Max points behind Logan. Mirror. He also stifles a laugh. Because, for serious: hair just doesn't grow like this.

He also looks around, because after his interaction with the staff at the clinic, he figures there must be something up.

"Am I getting Punk'd?" He laughs. Because: good one! You totally had Max going, Ashton. Totally.

Logan spins around to look at himself in the mirror. "Holy shit," he breathes. He's beyond shaggy, now. He's got actual fur growing. He lifts his shirt to check, and yes, there's fur all over. "Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck." He peeks inside his pants. Yep. All. Over. "DOCTOR! NURSE! Whoever... HELP!"

Max cringes at what he imagines Logan sees below the beltline. As soon as Logan hollers for the "nurse" though, he's struck with the sudden, emphatic urge to bail.

"Yeesh! Later, sasquatch. Good luck with the catheter!"

He hurries out the door. The motion of the door opening makes a pleasant "bee-doo" noise and Max is gone, gone, gone.

"Asshole," Logan scowls as Max leaves. He looks at himself in the mirror again, and can't help laughing. "Jesus. What the fuck do I do now?"

Cotton walkes over and eyeballs the furry man.

He pulls out a small straight razor. Similar to the kind that some men use to shave their face. In fact that's exactly what it is.

The parrot on his sholder squwaks "Amputate! Amputate!"

Logan jumps back and waves his hands defensively. "Whoa, buddy, watch where you're swinging that thing. No need for amputation here."

Cotton rolls his eyes and shoves the bird into a convenient cupboard. Unfortunatly this is the same cupboard that they keep various ingredients for the more "folksy" treatments...such as bird feathers and newt eyeballs. The parrot takes a HUGE issue with this. His muffle screeches add to the pandamonium.

Cotton again attempts to shave the hair off of Logan.

Logan grabs a clipboard off the counter to use as a shield. "Get that thing away from me!" he yells, backing away. Unfortunately, his leg hair is now long enough for him to step on, and he slips on it, falling backwards into a bookshelf and knocking it over.

Cotton shrugs and puts his blade away.

'What a wussie' he thinks.

His parrot still in the cupboard says "WAX HIS FURRY ASS"

Thinking this isn't a bad option, he grabs a pot of wax and some gauze and starts to advance on Logan with a determined look on his face.

"Logan, oh Christ, Logan are you okay?"

Lisa runs over to Logan and gasps at the hair that is curling down off his body and increasing in length before his eyes.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"

Logan picks himself up. "I'm fine," he says. "Did you mention something about side effects earlier?"

"Okay, while he's... braiding you, I am going to give you a shot of Epinephrine. This time I can guarantee you won't grow any extra hair. It will hopefully stop the reaction."

"Make it fast," Logan says, trying unsuccessfully to keep Cotton away from his hair.

Her hands trembling, Lisa quickly gives him the injection, and then bites her lip as she waits to see his reaction.

(no subject)

fh_jackass - 2005-09-15 22:38 (UTC) - Expand

"COTTON! What the hell are you doing?!"

*looks at her innocently*

"Get the hell away from him! Are you trying to kill him? He's having an allergic reaction, WAXING HIM isn't the answer! And neither is destroying the clinic."

Lisa has steam practically shooting out of her ears. She turns her attention back to Logan and shakes a bit.

Out of options Cotton starts to braid the hair on Logans legs.

Logan kicks him.

Cotton calmly dodges the kick the best he can, only getting a glancing blow while tying off the braid with a bonny yellow bit of string he had in his pocket.

Then moves on to a large section on Logans back.

The bird creeps out of the cupboard and returns to his perch, eyeing Cotton progress.