fandom_clinic | Fandom Clinic, Monday 12/29

Fandom Clinic, Monday 12/29

"I brought bagels today," Stark said. "To go with the coffee. In case anyone wanted a change from sweet things."

Not Stark, obviously. He'd been living off Christmas cookies and such for several days now. He probably ought to eat some real food at some point. Probably. Maybe a vegetable or two.

Stabby was unconcerned with vegetables, bagels, or cookies. Stabby was, apparently, trying on hats and ties for Wednesday night.

"He's thinking about going to the party," a nurse explained. "I think. He might have invited the lobsters? He's being a bit cagey about it all. You're going, right? To the bar?"

Stark shrugged.

"I haven't got anywhere else to go. So...I think so. At least for a bit."

The clinic was open, the crab was trying to look his best for the new year, and the alien was feeling a bit noncommittal about his holiday plans.

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For checking in, socializing, etc.

It was rare these days that Summee had much free time, and, when she did, it was spent just sort of fucking around in the kitchen to see what she ended up with, and this time, she wound up with something that she figured at least one person would appreciate, who was also probably bored and also also always open to being bothered by all her weird shit.

And Stark was getting a picture sent to him with an accompanying text:

oh no I made horse jello

Stark was, in fact, feeling a little bored. Stabby's accessories were only entertaining for so long.

very nice.is it made of horses or just looks like a horse

Look, these were important questions.

Hi.

It was the exact question Summer had expected, really, and it was also a question she had no intention of confirming or denying.

Look, she was working with Golgari now. She was putting things way more questionable than just horses in her jello these days.

No not yet. Watcha up to?

Stark was just going to hope nobody sentient ended up in any of the jello. Except maybe to wrestle.

at the clinic watching the crab try on outfits

This was followed, of course, by a photo of Stabby in a bowtie and a photo of Stabby in a sparkly top hat.

Not sentient anymore, anyway.

Summer nodded with approval at her phone, because if Stark hadn't immediately followed it up with evidence, she was going to demand pics or it didn't happen.

aw! So dapper! What's the occasion? Is he getting ready for nye?

Yikes, Summer. Yikes.

i think the lobsters might be visiting him for the new year or he's going to try and go to the party. or both. is it the end of the year there too?

Ugh. So judgey.

no the new year here isn't until February which is fucking weird only thry call it Zuun obviously

Yeah. Obviously.

but hey if I make it back home that just means more nye parties for me and I'll take it

Just because he didn't think people ought to be eating other people in a not-fun way...

you should come here for the party

If it helped, no one could actually confirm that that's what it was? But also, like, Summer also ran around with Rakdos and Gruul, soooo....

I'd like to! I think I'm gonna try but you know things are. I've just been so busy and who knows what might happen at the last minute?

Some aspects of Ravnican culture had perhaps been slightly glossed over when Stark visited. Perhaps. Slightly.

i'd love to see you

He didn't think she needed to be told that, no, but it was always good to know you were missed.

and i'd like to show my stylist a new shirt i found

It was a very rich and diverse culture! It was easy to miss...a lot.

But all those weird details and clashing ideologies and messy customs was exactly why Summer was absolutely in love with all of it.

Well...most of it, anyway.

And, no, Stark hadn't needed to say it, but there would always be a part of Summer (the insatiable need for approval and validation lart) that would have been disappointed if he hadn't.

oooooooh new shirt? Well now I have to. I bet pictures won't do it justice right?

it will be better in person

And now Stark needed to go shopping immediately. Oops. He'd done this to himself.

Pulling the shirt card without having actually acquired said shirt was a bold move, James Stark.

Or a stupid one.

Or both.

Probably both.

Summer would approve.

I guess I'll have to be thr judge of that myself

A small pause, before it was followed by:

although no guarantees. Like if an izzet blows up my kitchen again my hands are gonna be tied

Edited 2025-12-29 23:58 (UTC)

It was both, certainly.
And he was always being advised to be bolder...

please don't get blown up

not ME. I won't get blown up. Just possibly my kitchen again

Summer considered how this probably did not sound very reassuring.

I promise not to test run any new experimental izzet devices from now until Wednesday

Which would be harder to do than you might imagine, Stark!

what sort of kitchen devices keep exploding or is it better not to ask

It was almost always better not to ask for details, Stark.

my kitchen doesn't explode

half the time I don't even know myself

But her Izzet friends were very convincing that whatever they were working on that week would change her life. And they weren't entirely wrong about that, even if she was a little worried it might end her life if her landlord found out about the time it was in the townhouse kitchen and not at one of the cafes...

and ur kitchen doesn't explode YET

are you planning causing explosions in my apartment

Stark was not opposed. Ahem.

Summer scrolled up a little, to check the timestamps for when the conversation started. Because it never took long, did it? And then she was left wondering if she should go with the obvious beats or if it was...the nicer thing to not.

Although she realized she did sort of walk right into that one, didn't she?

planning? No. But yoi never can tell when I show up

It worked because it was often true on multiple levels!

you always surprise me

Mostly in good ways. Mostly.

Well, now Summer was wondering if she had enough time to plant a glitter bomb in Stark's kitchen before Wednesday without him noticing.

And it was probably going to bug her until she actually did it...

someone's got to keep u on ur toes right?

it has been quiet here

In multiple ways.

A glitter bomb would honestly be exactly what he deserved.

I feel like it always would get quiet this time of year, u know? But quiet's usually a good thing there too. Usually better than the alternative but i guess not always?

And who knew? Maybe there would be a convenient regularly scheduled Wednesday morning obligation where Stark could predictably be out of his apartment for such a bomb to be oh-so-stealthily planted...

other years i've taken trips for part of it

Not so much this year.

sometimes it's just a little too quiet

You know what these are for.

It is Monday, right?

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Fandom Clinic, Monday 12/29

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