fandom_clinic | FTEC - Tuesday Evening Shift 4/17

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FTEC - Tuesday Evening Shift 4/17

Marie was lucky to have gotten Andy back! Wilson had thoughts of trying to keep the delightful little boy. Well, okay they were fleeting thoughts that logic had quickly smacked out of him but ooohh did he envy his alternate selves and their role in the lives of these delightful children he'd gotten to meet.

Munching on one of the cookies the three of them had made that afternoon, Wilson made his way into the clinic. He checked in briefly with the on duty nurse and then set himself up at the front desk.

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He's here if anyone needs him.

Three red heads burst through the door.

"THIS IS YOUR BIRTHDAY SONG! IT ISN'T VERY LONG..."

Wilson looked up with surprise when the door burst open, surprise that gave way to rich laughter as he looked at the three red-headed crew.

"Wonderful song! Thank you!"

Pippi set a basket of cookies on the desk for him.

"You're very welcome." she grinned. "We've been practicing."

"Ooo cookies! I think I owe you guys a delivery fee," he said playfully pushing the basket to share with Pippi and her two youngsters.

"Well, it sounded wonderful and it was kind of you three to come down here and wish me a happy birthday. Can I get birthday hugs?"

Yes, he was a greedy little hug gatherer.

The two kids reached forward but Pippi grabbed their arms.

"Oh if we did you'd have none for yourself and they each have a bag of their own." Pippi said to a chorus of disappointed 'awwww's.

"But hugs we can do!"

Walter and Leon hugged Wilson, picking him up off the ground.

For a quiet birthday dinner with the angel.

It wasn't quite the romantic meal he'd planned on, but in a way Aziraphale thought that a quietly shared supper at the clinic fit perfectly into the life that he and Wilson were carving out for themselves. He'd spent a couple of hours after reluctantly returning Andy to his mother preparing the birthday dinner the young doctor had requested, then packed it all carefully into an enormous picnic basket and carried it up to the clinic.

With a warm smile for Wilson as he entered the door, the angel took over the desk to spread out the dishes he'd prepared. There was a grilled salmon caesar salad (http://food.cookinglight.com/cooking/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=1206147), of course, as well as the lentil soup (http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_35630,00.html?rsrc=search) he'd suggested, and a loaf of steaming potato bread (http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_2891,00.html?rsrc=search). Iced tea was poured from a thermos, and the promised cherry cobbler (http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_10527,00.html?rsrc=search) was set aside for later.

"Happy Birthday, love," Aziraphale said with a proud grin, once he was finished.

Wilson had forced himself to stand back and let Phale unwrap their meal in whatever manner the angel had planned for the special meal and he smiled with soft warmth as he saw all his requests being set up on the desk.

"It looks absolutely perfect, love. Thank you." He said softly, leaning over to return a gentle kiss of his own.

"And the tulips were a delight this morning, I realized I hadn't had a moment to tell you that today."

Aziraphale's eyes shone with pleasure at his lover's approval, and he even moved around the desk to pull out the other man's chair for him. "You're welcome, James love. It was my pleasure to do it. And you didn't have to say a thing about the flowers, I could tell you liked them."

The angel pulled up his own chair and sat down, serving up the soup and salad and smiling all the while. "How are you feeling?" he asked softly, suspecting that Wilson was going to be hit hard when the children finally went on their way.

A soft blush touched Wilson's cheeks as he took his seat with a low 'thank you' and he reached to shake the napkin into his lap as Phale settled in the chair across from him.

Frowning slightly at the question, Wilson picked up his fork and began to load up a bite of salad.

"It's both wonderful and heartbreaking. I just hope that my alternate selves who have these children in their lives, know how lucky they are and appreciate every moment they have with them."

Raising an eyebrow, Aziraphale smiled wryly and reached over to squeeze Wilson's hand.

"Well, first off, I cannot imagine a world that has you in it where you wouldn't appreciate how wonderful these children are. And secondly, who says that we won't see them again someday? Or if not these children exactly, then some very like them. Our students here will be adults themselves in short time, and I imagine we'll keep in touch with quite a few of them."

"I know...but it won't be all of them." He said, looking a bit perplexed at his own explination.

"I mean, there are some of these children whom we won't ever get to know because the path their parents will take in our world wouldn't allow for it."

It was hard for Aziraphale to truly understand the young doctor's pain in that regard, because he had come into contact through the millenia with so many people whom he never saw again. It wasn't the same, though, and he knew that. Just as he also knew that it was part of the instincts which had led Wilson to become a doctor that now wanted to keep track of these children, and to watch them grow.

"Don't give up hope entirely," he replied, with an encouraging smile. "You never know what might happen down the road. After all our time in Fandom, that's something we should always remember." The angel chuckled softly. "Stranger things have happened, you know."

Wilson wanted to respond to his lover's encouraging smile but something the angel said triggered some of the issues he'd wrestled quietly with the night before when they'd left the Nest.

"Yet, despite the strangeness there was one constant," he said softly, looking down at his salad.

"Seems that no matter what universe I reside in, I'm meant to be childless."

Aziraphale had no argument to make in the face of Wilson's pain. He didn't know what the Plan had mapped out for the young doctor. It had been a joy to have the children around, but the angel had never felt that mortal urge to produce offspring of his own. There was no way for him to connect to his lover's sense of loss, and it hurt to know that.

"We don't know anything for certain, James." When he finally spoke, Aziraphale's words were soft. "Just because no children appeared claiming they were yours doesn't mean they don't exist. It only means that for whatever reason, they didn't come here. And I think, in the end, it's good that they didn't."

Because it would have been far to difficult to let them go.

Wilson shrugged and poked at his food.

"Even Lucifer had a child who was allowed to come through. I guess..."

Wilson sighed softly and set his fork down. Linking his fingers together he looked out the window.

"I guess I'd like to think that somewhere, there is an Amanda."

After a moment though he gave a small shrug and picked his fork back up.

"I don't know, maybe you're right, that it's better if I never know and thus, never have to covet something I will never know."

"I can't pretend to understand the whims of this place, and why some things happen while others don't. But James, tell me truthfully..."

Aziraphale tilted his head to try and catch his lover's eyes. "Would you really have been able to let her go, if Amanda had come here? Maybe that's why she didn't, because you know what it's like to have lost her once before, and it would have been too cruel to make you give her up a second time."

"I don't know!" Wilson yelled, slamming his fork down and getting up away from the desk.

Pacing across the small waiting room, he drove his hand through his hair and shook his head.

"But maybe I would have liked the chance to make that decision when it came. At least then, I'd...maybe I'd know that in one universe..."

Wilson bit off the words because he was close to saying something cruel and unfair to Phale and he didn't want to take his anger at Above out on the angel.

Caught by surprise at Wilson's rage, the angel pulled back, eyes widening slightly as he watched the man pace.

"You're right," he murmured. "That Choice shouldn't have been taken away from you. But James..."

Aziraphale took a deep breath, because it wasn't a very good argument, but it was the only one he had. "Your life isn't over yet. You have a long time ahead of you now, and neither of us know what that time will bring. I would do anything in the world for you, love, you know that. Please don't give up on this universe, yet."

Wilson stood for a while longer with his hands on his hips but then he gave a small nod and turned back to the angel.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, walking over to Phale and leaning down to hug him from behind.

"That was unfair of me to say, especially to you. I'm not giving up on this universe and I'm very happy being in it with you in my life...and obviously with you in my life in many other alternates as well. Guess if nothing else, HE was pretty certain in his plan to give me to you."

"Love," Aziraphale said, reaching up to pull Wilson around to his lap. "Don't belittle your pain. I can't imagine what it must be like, and HE knows that I wish I could understand it. And I think it's a bloody shame, too, because you would make such a wonderful father."

He bowed his head, feeling ashamed of the selfish little thought reminding him that if Wilson's little girl hadn't been taken from him, the angel would probably never have met him. Although, Aziraphale told himself, to put that joyful back light in the young doctor's eyes, he'd give up his own claim on the man.

The past couldn't be changed, though, not by the likes of them. So Aziraphale wrapped his arms tightly around his lover.

"I see an admirer brought you biscuits," he said in a gently teasing tone, hoping to bring the conversation back to something at least a little more light-hearted.

Settling in his lover's lap, Wilson curled an arm around the angel's shoulders and looked over at the cookies.

"Pippi and her two little one's. They picked me up...literally," he said with a grin remembering his surprise.

He reached then and helped himself to the angel's piece of bread, taking a bite before sharing it with Phale.

"We do seem to make good uncles and grandfathers though...that's definitely something to be proud of." And if there was a slight emphisis on the word we well...it was true. Wilson was proud of the knowledge that it seemed that almost all the paths were walked together.

With a pleased smile, Aziraphale nodded his agreement, and took a bite of the bread.

"I hadn't thought to notice it, until you mentioned it, but yes...all of the children I met seemed to know us both. And...knew us as a couple. So I think perhaps you're right, love. HE has a place in the Plan for us both, and that place is obviously together."

Not caring a bit if it looked strange to have the on-duty doctor sitting in his lap in the middle of the clinic office, the angel snagged his fork and offered Wilson a bite of salad. After all, it was the man's birthday.

"You're going to owe me a lot of personal attention tomorrow night, to make up for this extra shift, you know."

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