fandom_clinic | FTEC, Saturday Night

Like sparrows to Capistrano, Cox somehow finds his way to the only clinic on the island. Seeing the slacker behind the desk he makes a quick two tone whistle one might make to call a dog to get his attention.

"Hey. Cowboy. Where's the head honcho of this resort?"

"You're looking at him, asshole," Tommy said, not looking away from the TV. He was currently watching Meerkat Manor and rooting for a hyena to eat a meerkat.

"Ha. That's funny Bucky. Now jump off your saddle and mosey off and find the big "Hoss" around here and maybe I'll remove that cob that appears to be stuck up your ass," Cox retorted.

"Only person touching the big hoss is my wife, pal," Tommy told him. "As for the rest, in my experience everyone on this god damn island is either green, Canadian, or gay. Since you went right for the Brokeback crap I guess we know where you're falling."

"Funny because your wife was telling me a different story last night there Buck-a-roo," Cox said rolling his eyes. "And I hate to break your statistic but I'm neither green, Canadian, or a lover of men. Now if my Ex-wife were here she'd probably fill two of those categories. Three if she were Canadian."

Cox motions to the TV. "Now judging from your love of small animals I'm guess you fit a fourth category? I know it's cold and lonely out there on the plains Bucky but you should really give a horse a break."

"Well if you're not here to suck my dick what are you here for?" Tommy asked. He gave Cox a look. "Don't tell me medical help 'cause I think you are way past anything the yahoos who work here could do for you."

"Gee thanks for the offer of a free lunch there Sparky, but I'm on a strict weiner free diet," Cox said returning the look. "And if your little yahoos can handle a guy like me than you need to get a better staff. And if you want to take that as a double entendre I'm sure It'll work just as well."

"Yeah, thanks for the update from Yesterday's God Damn News Magazine," Tommy said. "One of the kids who worked here was a statue for three weeks. Ya think I could use another hand around here? And feel free to take that as a double entendre if it helps you sleep at night, pal."

"Oh-ho-ho I'll sleep just fine after I finish off my second scotch and the dinner I'll eat off your wife's stomach," Cox retorted. "But if you're looking for extra help there stud, I'll be glad to toss my application in as an MD with over 15 years experience in listening to people like yourself cry endlessly about their problems without really giving a crap."

"Not giving a crap hasn't been a problem for me yet," Tommy said. "But if you've got such a god damn crush on me that you can't stay away, we could use somebody to fill in on Mondays."

"Well I hate to let you down there Bucky but you're missing some serious equipment there if you expect me to start doodling your name on the outside my notebook with little hearts beside it," Cox said rolling his eyes. "And if this place is quiet and pays in something close to resembling cash than consider it a done deal there Sparky."

"The place gets every STD-catching, extra arm-having, snow monster-loving, loser from New Jersey that this god damn island has to offer," Tommy said. "On the upside it does pay, and the nurse has nice tits."

"Well whatever drugs you're on Bucky, I'd say you'd need to talk to your shrink because other than the STD's I'd say you got a serious problem with the crazy talk coming out of your mouth," Cox said rolling his eyes. "But if the pay is good and you aren't hallucinating about the nurse's breasts I'd say we got a deal."

"Show up Monday morning and eyeball her for yourself," Tommy said. "I'll... probably remember to leave out the paperwork you'll have to fill for taxes, pay, ability to get the key to the drug locker, blah blah blah."

"Yeah sure thing there Bucky. I'll be here bright and early with a giant happy smiley face for a happy new day," Cox said pulling out his wallet. "Let's say you just give me the paperwork now because there's no-ho-ho way in hell's kitchen that I'm working here for free as you stall on the paper work."

"Yeah, that's Mr. Bucky to you, asshole," Tommy said. He pushed aside his ashtray and some empty donut boxes and came up with the necessary paperwork. "Here. Try not to break your limp wrist when you push the pen around."

"Well thanks for the oh-so-considerate concern of my well being there Buckaroo," Cox said making quick work of the application. "Now here's your paperwork and you'll soon see my ass heading for the door and not returning to his hellhole until Monday. Any questions?"

"None other than why haven't you left already," Tommy said. He glanced at the application and snorted. "Cox. Figures."

"I'm just waiting for you to go back to your pornfest up there Chuckles," Cox said referring to the meerkat special on the TV, "So I can be sure you won't be drooling after me as I leave. Oh look! Commercial's over. Now be sure to used the moisturizing lotion so you don't chafe yourself Bucky!"

And with that, Cox is out the door.

FTEC, Saturday Night

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