Jack O'Neill Reporting For Duty

[2ls-in-oneill.livejournal.com]

Jack punches in and takes a seat behind the desk. He takes out his homework and hopes it's a slow day.

Comments

[valentine-tart.livejournal.com]

Hey. I'm Beka Valentine. Liz Weir sent me. Sort of.

[2ls-in-oneill.livejournal.com]

Nice to meet you name's O'Neill what're the symptoms? Should I be afraid?

[valentine-tart.livejournal.com]

Symptoms. Shit. Clinic. Shoulda asked Janet. OK, improvise Bek. Irritability. Itchy trigger finger. In short, I think I'm suffering from weaponsbanitis. Not unless you actually love Shep.

[2ls-in-oneill.livejournal.com]

...

If I suggest a midol you're going to hit me aren't you?

Shep tortue rocks.

[valentine-tart.livejournal.com]

I might if this weren't a total pretext.

*woeangstprettybrowneyes* Hit you? Of course not. If you think Midol's best... I was concerned about adding caffeine.

Good. Because he's annoying the frak out of me. But don't tell him I said that.

[janet_fraiser]

*snickers* Weaponsbanitis? I don't think that's a real disease.

[valentine-tart.livejournal.com]

Hush you. *eyes her prospective girlfriend with amusement* If you hadn't been kissing someone, I might've had a better excuse!

[2ls-in-oneill.livejournal.com]

That's what I said.

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Marty and Angela stumble into the clinic. Marty is leaning on Angela for support. He is bleeding from his left... well butt.

"Can we get a little help please?"

[2ls-in-oneill.livejournal.com]

You eat at the cafeteria or something? They really need to keep some Ex-Lax on hand in the dorms for you guys...

[chasingangela]

Angela is pretty much in fuill-metal freakout mode.

"I shot him, he was teaching me how to shoot and the gun wasn't working and I was trying to show him what was wrong and there was a noise and I fired and .... I shot him."

Her eyes are moist.

"Will he be okay?"

[2ls-in-oneill.livejournal.com]

Depends. He's not one of the races with vital organs in his ass is he?

[chasingangela]

Angela is not tracking humor very well just then. She gives Jack a puzzled look.

"I'm ptretty sure he's just human."

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Uh. No. I've been shot.

[2ls-in-oneill.livejournal.com]

What happened?

*Red-haired girl explains explains*

Okay. I have to report this unfortunetly, what with the whole bullet in the ass thing, but not until I've got yu fixed up. So either you *points to the girl* can stay and give your statement when I'm done or I can arange something for later. Either way.

I'm gonna need you to step behind the curtain, strip, put on the johnny and lay on your stomach.

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Marty moves behind the curtain and starts removing his clothes.

"We were at the shooting range. I think she just grazed me."

I don't know who this Johnny guy is, but I'll be damned if I'm putting him on.

[chasingangela]

Slightly less freaked out, angela nods and takes a seat. "I'll stay. I am, like, responsible."

She mouths "I'm so very sorry" at Marty again, and reaches out to squeeze his hand.

[janet_fraiser]

*walks in and sees Beka and Jack*

Hey. *pulls out an apple and bites into it* Is there actually no major crisis going on tonight? For once?

[2ls-in-oneill.livejournal.com]

You missed a GSW. You would've loved it. I was responsible-like and stuff.

[janet_fraiser]

I would have cheered and applauded you and refrained from giving any advice whatsoever. Mostly. So who got shot, and where?

[2ls-in-oneill.livejournal.com]

Marty and in the ass.

[janet_fraiser]

*snickers* God, those are the best if you're feeling sadistic.

[valentine-tart.livejournal.com]

*smiles at Janet*

Hey, gorgeous. *winks*

[janet_fraiser]

Hey, yourself. *winks back and grins* Having fun? Plotting evil?

[valentine-tart.livejournal.com]

Me? Evil? Never. I'm the soul of innocence. And I'm protecting my virginity like whoa so don't even talk to me about making out with you and Liz or having any kind of threesomes or anything like that, because woe-angst, OMG. *grins*