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fandom_clinic2005-10-23 07:43 pm
master-of-fear.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_clinic2005-10-23 07:43 pm
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Tara knocks on the door before opening it, declaring immediately, "I'm not stalking you, I promise."
"Tara!," Jonathan cries smiling, "glad to see you, please come in and sit down," Jonathan says, motioning her towards the couch.
Tara smiles and sits with relief. "I figured I should come today, while you're probably not mad at me. You've heard about the Ethics assignment? From the radio?"
"There are people who haven't? I assumed everyone heard Parker's brain explode if nothing else.
I must say I'm impressed Professor, I didn't know you had such an evil streak." Jonathan's smiling, clearly not all that bothered.
I must say I'm impressed Professor, I didn't know you had such an evil streak." Jonathan's smiling, clearly not all that bothered.
Tara looks guilty for a moment, but protests "there are genuine academic outcomes for this!"
Jonathan blushes for a second before confiding, "Not to be a complete psych geek but I for one am excited about this assignment for all the possible academic outcomes. I mean, from a psychological standpoint it's fascinating. I've read about Stockholm Syndrome and all the pertinent literature on authority and obedience but this is a chance to see it in action.
View it with my own two eyes and take notes on it. I can't wait to find out who I'm paired with and in which role. I mean, obviously I'll be to close to my own data to draw any relevant conclusions but I still think I'll be able to learn..." Jonathan stops and blushes again.
"and I sound like a complete psych nerd," he says pushing his glasses up his face, "I just want you to know, not everyone is focusing on how awful this assignment is. Maybe I'll get some one awful and it'll be hell, but even in that I'll learn something."
Jonathan looks up at Tara and smiles brightly
View it with my own two eyes and take notes on it. I can't wait to find out who I'm paired with and in which role. I mean, obviously I'll be to close to my own data to draw any relevant conclusions but I still think I'll be able to learn..." Jonathan stops and blushes again.
"and I sound like a complete psych nerd," he says pushing his glasses up his face, "I just want you to know, not everyone is focusing on how awful this assignment is. Maybe I'll get some one awful and it'll be hell, but even in that I'll learn something."
Jonathan looks up at Tara and smiles brightly
Tara grins in relief. "I'm glad someone's seeing the good side of it. And yeah, there's a lot of Stockholm, and a good deal of Milgram in this one."
She lowers her voice confidentially and says, "I can tell you who you're paired with - you'd find out tomorrow morning anyway. You'll be Sydney Bristow's Master. Vamp senses have it that she's pregnant, and I trust you to be able to protect her physical and psychiological welfare through this - more than anyone. I hope she won't be awful. She might not be the best choice for you, but you were the only possible choice for her."
She lowers her voice confidentially and says, "I can tell you who you're paired with - you'd find out tomorrow morning anyway. You'll be Sydney Bristow's Master. Vamp senses have it that she's pregnant, and I trust you to be able to protect her physical and psychiological welfare through this - more than anyone. I hope she won't be awful. She might not be the best choice for you, but you were the only possible choice for her."
Kawalsky waited around until no one was seeing Jonathan, then knocked on the door.
"A pregnant woman? I ummm, well I guess I'm flattered that you felt I could handle the assignment. Sydney Bristow, she's the dean's daughter right? I guess this should be interesting. Add an entirely different dynamic to the idea of mastering. She's not well known for being a really tough chick... is she?"
Jonathan opens the door to see the dark haired boy he'd seen around the dorms but never talked to.
"Hello, please come in," and he gestures towards the empty couch, "I'm Jonathan Crane, how can I help you today?"
"Hello, please come in," and he gestures towards the empty couch, "I'm Jonathan Crane, how can I help you today?"
"Hey. I'm Charlie Kawalsky. This psych thing is confidential, right?"
Tara looks doubtful. "Actually, I know almost nothing about her. She was pretty quiet in class. And I don't know if the pregnancy is common knowledge - Angelus can apparantly tell these things - so it's confidential, okay?"
"Well, seeing as I learned it in here," and Jonathan spreads his hands to indicate the office, "It's definately confidential right? And don't worry, I'm sure we'll both be fine. I only ask because I ummm, have a hard time saying 'no' to strong women and I'll have to watch myself on that if Ms. Bristow turns out to be one of them.
So, in an effort to segue into a more neutral environment where I'm not alone in a locked room with my teacher; how are the excercises coming?"
So, in an effort to segue into a more neutral environment where I'm not alone in a locked room with my teacher; how are the excercises coming?"
"Pleased to meet you Mr. Kawalsky, may I call you Charlie?, and yes, anything you say here stays here. Not even Doctor House or the Principal can ask about it."
Tara blushes. "Sorry. I didn't mean to cross the teacher divide. Um... it's really hard, actually. I feel guilty. In class on Friday, as part of the roles, I made Angelus sit at my feet, and forbade him to gel his hair. And it felt... really good. To be in control. To know he'd do as I told him, even though he's stronger than I am. Especially because I know he could say no, if he wanted to."
"Yeah, call me Charlie. No problem. I just don't want this leaking back to anyone. I can't talk to my friends about it, because it's about them and it's a small school and they're all I've got, so I don't wanna screw things up more than I have."
"Well, we didn't decide to do this because it was easy. But I'm glad your giving it a try.
In light of how helpless you've been feeling in regards to those big metaphysical question of 'who am i', it doesn't surprise me you'd enjoy feeling powerful. I'd reccomend you try to not feel guilty, in an effort to play out the excercise to the fullest but as they say, you're only human.
Why exactly do you feel guilty? You yourself said that Angelus could have said 'no' and you also know that you couldn't force him. So what about the situation do you feel guilty about?
In light of how helpless you've been feeling in regards to those big metaphysical question of 'who am i', it doesn't surprise me you'd enjoy feeling powerful. I'd reccomend you try to not feel guilty, in an effort to play out the excercise to the fullest but as they say, you're only human.
Why exactly do you feel guilty? You yourself said that Angelus could have said 'no' and you also know that you couldn't force him. So what about the situation do you feel guilty about?
"We all live in the same fishbowl Charlie. If it makes you feel any safer, I'd hate for it to get around to my friends that I can't keep confidences," Jonathan says and smiles.
"So how can I help you today?"
"So how can I help you today?"
"Well, I keep pissing people off. I'm one of the Ethics TAs, and I think the class project has its merits. Some of my friends disagree and I don't think they're too happy with me about it. I can't prove it, but it's just something you pick up on with close friends, y'know?" He paused for a moment. "But that's just the newest thing. I feel like I'm always having to try really hard to keep their attention, to fit in, and I don't know how to keep doing that."
"Well, as a T.A. for a class your friends are taking did you consider the possible social repercussions before hand? Or is it just the vehemence of your friend's dislike for the assignment that's catching you off guard?" Jonathan asks, folding his hands in his lap.
"In what ways do you feel your friends aren't paying attention to you?"
"In what ways do you feel your friends aren't paying attention to you?"
Tara thinks for a moment, trying to analyse her feelings. "For wanting it, I guess. I mean, it's not me. Or," she frowns. "Well, I don't think it is. And because I'm using him to get back at my father, and I know I'm doing it. He had to choose a Master name, and he's chosen Daddy. And there's something about having Daddy sit at my feet, and wanting to please me that..." she trails off, shaking her head in shame.
"It's just the vehemence. I thought they'd see the purpose of the assignment and they didn't. They just got mad. Mad for what they think are good reasons, I won't argue with that. But I'm the TA and I'll do my job, whether I agree with everything the teach wants me to do or not. As for the other thing, I dunno.. I guess it's not that they don't pay attention to me, but that I just don't feel like I'm on the same level with them. They had a really rough time back in Colorado, where we used to live, and.. I had to go away for a few years and now I'm back and I feel a little left out of some stuff, like an outsider."
"Considering your difficult history with your Father that's entirely understandable Tara. There's no shame in wanting to be in a position of power over those who've had so much power over you.
If you think about it, it's a kind of therapy in and of itself. Here you are in a position of power over 'Daddy' and what do you discover when you're here but that the power is an illusion that 'Daddy' is letting you have. Without 'Daddy's' consent to submit to you, the power you have over him is in name only. Hopefully you'll use this opportunity to draw paralells to you and your own father's power dynamic.
As to feeling like you're using Angelus, it isn't as if you assigned the name to him. He chose that name of his own volition out of all the possibilities in the English language. How you react to his choice is a choice in and of itself and maybe your motivations weren't entirely pure, but you didn't put him into that role by yourself. Angelus himself did in wanting you to call him Daddy. Which says a lot about Angelus but we aren't here to talk about him.
Furthermore, if you consider just how conflicted you are in regards to your father, you showed remarkable restraint towards Angelus in his 'Daddy' role.
If you think about it, it's a kind of therapy in and of itself. Here you are in a position of power over 'Daddy' and what do you discover when you're here but that the power is an illusion that 'Daddy' is letting you have. Without 'Daddy's' consent to submit to you, the power you have over him is in name only. Hopefully you'll use this opportunity to draw paralells to you and your own father's power dynamic.
As to feeling like you're using Angelus, it isn't as if you assigned the name to him. He chose that name of his own volition out of all the possibilities in the English language. How you react to his choice is a choice in and of itself and maybe your motivations weren't entirely pure, but you didn't put him into that role by yourself. Angelus himself did in wanting you to call him Daddy. Which says a lot about Angelus but we aren't here to talk about him.
Furthermore, if you consider just how conflicted you are in regards to your father, you showed remarkable restraint towards Angelus in his 'Daddy' role.
"Am I to assume that you don't want to talk about 'going away'?
"Your decision to become a T.A. is one that comes with an incredible amount of responsibility. Not only are you responsible for your own school work, you're supposed to help others as well. Perhaps you should explain to your friends that what the Professor said about Ethics class extends to you as well. It stays in Ethics class. That they can't hold you responsible for anything that happens in Ethics class and that they shouldn't. You're doing a good job despite any misgivings you have about the assignment and I feel that's commendable.
As to the rest of it, is it safe to assume that you didn't want to 'go away' and leave them to deal with their problems?"
"Your decision to become a T.A. is one that comes with an incredible amount of responsibility. Not only are you responsible for your own school work, you're supposed to help others as well. Perhaps you should explain to your friends that what the Professor said about Ethics class extends to you as well. It stays in Ethics class. That they can't hold you responsible for anything that happens in Ethics class and that they shouldn't. You're doing a good job despite any misgivings you have about the assignment and I feel that's commendable.
As to the rest of it, is it safe to assume that you didn't want to 'go away' and leave them to deal with their problems?"
Tara laughs. "I don't think my students would believe me if I told them this was as hard for me as it is for them. Slave I could do easily, but Master?" She sighs.
Thinking back on what Jonathan has said, Tara bites her lip before asking, hesitently, "do you think I let him have the power? My father, I mean? Did I... consent?"
Thinking back on what Jonathan has said, Tara bites her lip before asking, hesitently, "do you think I let him have the power? My father, I mean? Did I... consent?"
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