"Ah, the body of an average teenage male. Several erections a day is completely normal. Don't be worried if you wake up with them, and although it may be embarassing, they can come at awkward times. Especially if you were on some sort of depressant, your body may be overreacting now - do not be surpised if you have any nocturnal emissions or the like, okay? As long as the ererctions go through the natural course I wouldn't worry. Be careful about excessive masturbation though. Choking the monkey won't kill you, but you can chafe the hell out of the skin down there if you aren't careful, and your girlfriend may be freaked out if your shaft is all pink and flaky.

Any other sexual experiences that resulted in the exchange of bodily fluids I should know about?"